Darkest Night
by AnnieEm
Summary: Even though Edward thought he had a good reason for leaving Forks and Bella after her 18th birthday, leaving Bella was harder for him than anyone realized. This is Edward's version of what happened when he left.
1. Chapter 1 Dark

Disclaimer: I do not own _Twilight_, _New Moon_, _Eclipse_ or any of the characters found within them. Thank you to Stephenie Meyer for creating such wonderful characters with whom I could play. No copyright infringement is intended by this story.

I parked my car in Bella's driveway and waited for her to drive her ancient truck home from school. I paced back and forth across her driveway and thought about the arguments I had had with my family over the last two nights. Usually Carlisle and Alice would at least take my side. Not this time. In fact, the only one of my siblings who agreed with my decision to leave Forks was Rosalie. I grimaced slightly at that thought. The only time Rosalie and I generally agreed about something was when it involved tinkering with an automobile. I was shaken out of my thoughts by the sound of Bella's truck. I could hear it long before I saw it turn onto her street. I quickly climbed back into my car. I did not want Bella to see the worry on my face. I had tried so hard all day to convince myself that I was doing the right thing. As soon as I saw her, I almost lost my resolve. How could I live without her? But I knew that leaving Forks and Bella was the only realistic way I could keep her safe. Whether it was best for me did not matter – only she truly mattered.

As she stepped out of her truck, I walked over to meet her still trying to work up the nerve to do what I knew was right. I took her book bag from her and placed it back in the truck. "Come for a walk with me," I said, trying to keep my voice light and my face calm. I took her hand, knowing it was probably my last chance. I briefly held it to my lips, savoring her Bella-ness one more time. Then, I pulled her towards the forest. After we took a couple steps onto the trail leading away from her house, I stopped. I did not want her to get lost later.

"Okay, let's talk," she said looking at me with questions in her eyes.

I took a deep breath, even though I really did not need to breathe. I told myself again this was the right thing to do no matter how much she argued with me. "Bella, we're leaving," I said. I was afraid to look into her eyes for fear that she could see through my façade.

She responded, "Why now? Another year . . ."

I cut her off before she could say any more. "Bella, it's time. How much longer could we stay in Forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon, regardless." I looked down at her now, hoping to keep my voice and eyes expressionless. I thought to myself, you just need to get through this quickly. It will be less painful that way. Although if I was really being truthful, I was not sure for whom it would be less painful – for Bella or for me.

She waited a couple moments and then whispered, "When you say _we_ . . ." Her voice started to crack on the last word.

This was the moment I had not been able to stop thinking about for the last two days. The moment where I had to break her heart and mine. I tried to make my voice sound cool and detached. "I mean my family and myself," I said.

She was silent. I wondered what she was thinking so hard about. Then she started shaking her head back and forth. "Okay," she said, "I'll come with you."

"You can't, Bella. Where we're going . . . It's not the right place for you," I responded quickly.

"Where you are is the right place for me." She said.

"I'm no good for you, Bella." I knew that this at least was the truth.

"Don't be ridiculous," she said. "You're the very best part of my life."

I had to stop her before she said anything further and I was unable to continue. "My world is not for you," I said. This was true in so many ways. All I have done is almost get her killed over and over again since the day I met her. I cringed at the thought of Bella bleeding and surrounded by broken glass on her eighteenth birthday – a day that should have been a celebration. Instead, deplorable creature that I am, I could not even hold her hand and kiss her while Carlisle stitched up her arm.

Now she sounded exasperated. "What happened with Jasper – that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!"

I agreed with her. "You're right. It was exactly what was to be expected." I did not add that I should have expected no more from a family of soulless monsters. I was not even really angry at Jasper – it was inevitable and it was all my fault.

"You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay . . ." Her eyes bored into me.

I knew that I purposely had avoided making that exact promise. "As long as that was best for you," I corrected.

"No!" Bella shouted at me. "This is about my soul, isn't it? Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward. I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you – it's yours already!"

Silly Bella, of course this was about her soul and her safety. She was my everything. I could not keep endangering her life by allowing her to remain near me as a human, yet I could not condemn her to my existence. This was my only option to keep her safe. I took another deep breath and looked away from her. I knew that I had to remain strong and finish this in order to protect her, even though I could feel my world quickly falling apart around me. "Bella, I don't want you to come with me," I said slowly as if the words were being dragged out of me. I cringed inwardly at the incredible lie – as if I could ever want that. Still, I had to say it. I was so sure she would see right through my pathetic lie and steeled myself against the arguments I knew would come next.

"You . . . don't . . .want me?" She said in such a small voice.

"No." I answered automatically.

"Well, that changes things," she said.

I wished again that I could hear her thoughts. Was she really so calm? Could she really believe this horrendous lie – that _I_ did not want _her_? How absurd. Hadn't she been listening to me all the times that I told her she was my everything? I wondered if I had underestimated her feelings for me. After all, she was only human. This was excruciating, but I knew I had to continue and make it final. That was the only way she would be able to truly live her life – the life she was supposed to have without unnatural beings – without me. "Of course, I'll always love you . . ." I hesitated again knowing that the next lie would haunt me for the rest of my existence. "In a way." I closed my eyes so she could not see the anguish I was not able to completely mask. I knew that I had to continue. "But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm . . . _tired_ of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human." I had to look at her now, because I knew that it was probably my last chance to look at the face that I loved so well. I knew that I would remember every detail of her angel's face, but still, it would not be the same. "I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that."

"Don't," she whispered. "Don't do this."

I cleared my voice of all emotion. "You're not good for me, Bella."

She did not say anything. She just stared at me. Her eyes were vacant, almost as if she was not there. Finally, she said, "If . . . that's what you want."

Of course that was not what I wanted. I wanted her, but I knew I could not have her. I could not answer her without betraying myself, so I just nodded. She did not say anything more. I thought again – why doesn't she argue with me? Tell me not to go? Why doesn't she fight for us? Didn't she love me at all? How could she believe this terrible lie so easily? My dead heart felt like it was breaking, yet my head told me this was all for the best. I clenched my fists so I would not reach out and pull her to me. "I would like to ask one favor, though, if that's not too much," I said. I could not keep the anguish from my eyes any longer.

"Anything," she breathed.

With that one word she almost brought me to my knees, begging her not to let me leave. Instead, I begged her to be safe. "Don't do anything reckless or stupid. Do you understand what I'm saying?" All I could think was that if anything happened to her, I would not be able to continue existing. I would have to follow through on the plans I made last spring when I was afraid I would not be able to save her from James.

She nodded, but did not speak.

I paused, wondering if I had gone too far. I did not want to give her something to hold on to that would prevent her from moving on. I tried to make my voice calm so I could lie to her once again. "I'm thinking of Charlie of course. He needs you. Take care of yourself – for him."

She nodded and whispered, "I will." Her voice sounded so small and distant.

I knew it was time to leave before I faltered. I told her, "I'll make you a promise in return. I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed." I hoped rather than believed that I would be able to keep myself from coming back and checking on her. "Don't worry. You're human – your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind." I continued.

"And your memories?" She asked.

I hesitated. My perfect memory would not allow me to forget a second of the time that I had spent with her. I knew it would be my only comfort after today. Instead of telling her that, I lied to her again. "Well, I won't forget. But _my_ kind . . . we're very easily distracted." I tried to smile, but the lie shook me to my core. As if I could ever be distracted from thinking about her. I started to back away from her. "That's everything, I suppose. We won't bother you again."

"Alice isn't coming back," she said. It sounded more like a statement than a question.

Alice. I thought about how upset Alice was with me right now. As soon as I made the decision to leave, she began shouting at me. Of all of my siblings, I had never argued with _Alice _like that before. We always supported each other. But she said she could not support this decision. It was wrong. She could not understand why I would not change Bella so we could begin living the life she saw in her visions. The life Alice believed we were supposed to have. She told me I was a masochistic fool and I was going to be miserable. I could see in her mind the misery that I was about to bring upon myself. But, I knew that I would willingly endure anything if it gave Bella the chance at a real human life. I knew that I had to do this. For Bella, I would willingly distance myself from my family. I realized I was so lost in my thoughts that I had not answered Bella yet. I shook my head. "No. They're all gone. I stayed behind to tell you goodbye."

"Alice is gone?" she asked. She looked like she was going to fall down. I very nearly rushed forward and pulled her into my arms to comfort her. It took all of my strength to keep me rooted to my spot.

"She wanted to say goodbye, but I convinced her that a clean break would be better for you," I said. I thought to myself that 'convinced' was quite an overstatement. Threatened was probably a better description. I could not think of anything else to say that would not hurt either one of us more than I already had, so I just said "Goodbye, Bella." I almost choked as I said her name.

"Wait!" she exclaimed and she reached her hands toward me.

I had to touch her one more time. I did not think one small touch would be too cruel. I reached out to grab her outstretched hands, but thought better of it and quickly brought them down to her side. I kissed her forehead and whispered, "Take care of yourself." Then I ran. If I were capable of producing tears they would have streamed down my face. I did not allow myself to look back at her.

I rushed into the house, determined to take away all reminders of my existence, just as I had promised. I saw Bella's photo album on her bed. As I opened it, I saw the picture that Bella took of me during the afternoon before her birthday party. I smiled a little as I thought of her silliness in asking whether I would actually appear on film. I removed it from the metal corners and noticed there was another picture of me, folded over. I unfolded it and saw Bella's smile. I knew it was selfish, but in that moment I knew that I had to have it. I wanted to have something of hers to keep me company. I put the picture in my pocket and then got to work finishing what I had promised her I would do – removing all traces of my existence.

I gathered up her birthday gifts from her nightstand – the airline vouchers from Carlisle and Esme and the CD of Bella's lullaby. I faltered. I could not bring myself to take them away from her. I looked around frantically for a place to hide them in her bedroom. I did not want to hurt her more, but selfishly I wanted her to have something of me if she ever wanted it. I pushed on the floorboards near her bed. A couple of the boards seemed somewhat loose. I pried them up and stashed the tickets, the CD and the picture of me there. I knew that part of me desperately hoped that she would find them and think of me. I laid back on her bed for just a moment to breathe in her delicious aroma one more time. I just wanted to stay there forever, but I knew that I had to leave. It would undo everything I vowed to her if she found me lurking in her bedroom. Just in case she did not return to the house before dinner, I decided to leave a note for Charlie – in Bella's handwriting, of course.

_Going for a walk with Edward, up the path._

_Back soon._

_-B_

I glanced once more at Bella's house, the place I had known more happiness than I ever thought was possible, and then I left, locking the door behind me. I looked down at the picture I stole from Bella's photo album and whispered "Goodbye my Bella, my one true love."

I sped away as fast as my car would accelerate. I wanted to leave Forks before my resolve wavered any further. It reminded me of the first day I met Bella. I turned my CD player off. The music only increased my pain. My world had gone completely black.


	2. Chapter 2 Miserable

**Author's Note: Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed this story. I really appreciate it!**

_Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse or any of the characters found within them. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer who I thank for letting me play with them for awhile. No copyright infringement is intended by this story._

I drove away from Forks and Bella as fast as I could. I was so afraid that if I stopped, I would change my mind and go back to beg her forgiveness. And I wanted to, so badly. But, I knew that was the one thing I could not allow myself to do. I felt incomplete. For one of the first times in my more than 100 years of existence, I could not think clearly. I did not know what to do or where to go.

I drove aimlessly for hours trying to stay away from civilization so I could be alone with my own thoughts. The last thing I needed right now was to hear the frivolous thoughts of others -- especially the insipid ideas of love and lust that ran through most humans' minds at night. They knew nothing of love. I desperately tried to focus on something other than Bella, but it did not work. She was my life and without her, nothing seemed to matter anymore. As I got closer to Alaska I decided to go to our house in Denali. At least it was peaceful and relatively secluded. As soon as I made the decision, I heard my cell phone ring. It was Alice.

I contemplated not answering my phone, but I knew she would just call back. "Yes, Alice." I said.

"Edward, how could you do this? How could you leave her all alone?" She screamed at me.

"I asked you not to look for her future," I reminded her.

"I did not try to see her – it just happened. Edward, she is miserable. I know that you are miserable too. It will not get any better. Please fix this now. It is unbearable to see you both in this state. Neither of you can be happy without the other. Please Edward." She begged me.

"I made my decision, Alice. I needed to leave to keep her safe, so I did it. Now, all of you need to respect my decision.

"It is the wrong decision, Edward. You cannot just leave her on a whim." She said.

Now, I started shouting. "What if I had been half a second too late in stopping Jasper, Alice? What if Bella had sliced one of her arteries on the glass plates? Would you want to be responsible for her death just because you had to throw a _fancy_ birthday party for her when she did not want one?" I knew that I was being unfair to Alice, but I did not care anymore.

I continued before she could say anything. "I am the one that was responsible for keeping her safe. I am the one that only ended up hurting her again and again. This was not just a whim – I thought this through thoroughly and it was the only way."

"But I did not even get to say goodbye." Alice whined.

"I know, Alice. I am sorry for that, but it was the best way. Now Bella can start living the life she was meant to have."

"I know that you do not really believe that." She sighed. "Just come home now, Edward. I will try to talk some sense into you later."

I growled in frustration and dropped my cell phone on the passenger seat before I crushed it. The closer I came to the house, the more hesitant I was to rejoin my family. I knew that they all would want to talk to me about Bella. I really did not want to talk about it. It hurt too much. I kept driving past the turn-off to the house and pulled over. As I sat there, I thought about the vacant look on Bella's face when I left her. No! I thought to myself. I know I did the right thing. This was how I could keep her safe AND human. Finally, I was ready to turn around and go back to the house.

As I parked my car and slowly walked to the front door, I was bombarded by everyone's thoughts at once. Everyone was thinking about Bella. Alice and Emmett were still furious with me for taking away their friend and sister. Jasper was berating himself for his weakness on Bella's birthday. Esme and Carlisle were both worried about how this would affect both Bella and me. In contrast to everyone else, Rosalie's thoughts were almost cheerful. She was thinking that our family would finally be back to normal without the 'human distraction.' I growled quietly as I heard Rosalie's thoughts – how dare she refer to Bella as a distraction.

I could not look at any of them as I walked through the door. "I need to be alone," I said to no one in particular. "I know you all want to talk about Bella, but I cannot do any more talking. It is already hard enough for me to think of anything other than Bella. Please try to control your thoughts. If I have to listen to any more of your thoughts about her, I won't be able to tolerate it." I raced to my bedroom and slammed the door a little too forcefully. Then, I tuned my stereo to white noise and turned it up. While I wanted to drown out my family's thoughts, I could not bear the thought of listening to music. Everything in my collection would remind me of Bella.

I collapsed onto my sofa and closed my eyes and began to think about my Bella.

Days passed and I continued just running through every kiss, every touch, every blush and every look my angel ever gave me. Alice knocked a few times and begged me to let her come in, but I just ignored her. To tell the truth, I ignored everyone and everything. I did not leave my room or even move off of my sofa.

A firm knock on the door finally broke me out of my trance. I could hear Carlisle thinking, _Edward, we need to talk_.

I sighed and said aloud "I really just want to be alone, Carlisle."

_Please, Edward. We need to talk now. Your seclusion has left me with no other choice._

"Fine. Come in, then." I said.

Carlisle entered my room and sat down next to me on the sofa. "We are moving to New York, Edward," he said.

"Why now all of a sudden? We have only been here for a few days." I retorted.

"Edward, you have been locked away here in your room for over three weeks. You have not even left to hunt. Your eyes are blacker than I can ever remember seeing them. You cannot continue living like this and neither can we. Poor Jasper can barely come into the house any more because of the hopelessness and misery he feels coming from you." I looked away as he continued. "I found a teaching position at Cornell. I will be taking over a lab for the rest of this semester and can continue the following semester if I wish . . . but I can stop at any time if we need to go _somewhere else_."

He paused and I could feel Carlisle's eyes boring into me. "I'm not changing my mind, Carlisle. It would not be fair to Bella. I promised her that it would be as if we never intruded on her life and I damn well mean to keep my promise," I growled. I desperately wanted to change the subject. "Are the others moving to New York as well?"

"Alice and Jasper are coming with us now. Jasper is planning on taking some psychiatry classes and Alice wants to start researching her past. Emmett and Rosalie are traveling to Europe for another honeymoon, but they plan to join us later. We all would like you to come with us too. Your mother especially misses you," he said.

"I'm sorry Carlisle, but I just can't bear to be around anyone right now. I know that you all mean well, but your thoughts are too much for me. I cannot function if I have to continue to hear how much everyone misses Bella." I almost choked as I said her name out loud.

"You are not really functioning right now, Edward," he said. "We are not leaving for a few more days, so please think about joining us. We all miss you and you know how much we enjoy your company."

I nodded, but I had already decided to leave the family. I did not want to see the hurt in their eyes or hear their thoughts of pity. I closed my eyes again to continue running through my favorite memories of Bella. Carlisle paused at my door and I could hear in his thoughts how hurt he knew Esme would be if I did not join them in New York. Instead, he said, "Please promise me that you will at least go hunting. Starvation is not possible for our kind, nor is it really feasible for you to be so thirsty in your current state. Think about what you could do if you ran across a human. Emmett and Jasper are leaving shortly for a short hunting trip and I think you should go with them."

I agreed and as he closed my door, I turned up the stereo to drown out everyone's thoughts once more. I knew everyone thought I was pathetic and I did not want to hear it. If I wanted to be pathetic, it was no one's business. Truthfully, though, I did not even want to face my own thoughts on the subject.

About twenty minutes later, I heard Emmett pounding on my door and shouting at me in his mind to open up.

I slowly got up, silently cursing myself for agreeing to hunt with Jasper and Emmett.


	3. Chapter 3 Hunting

_Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse or any of the characters found within them. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer who I thank for letting me play with them for awhile. No copyright infringement is intended by this story._

CHAPTER THREE - HUNTING

Jasper and Emmett grabbed me and dragged me out to Emmett's Jeep. I did not have the will to struggle with them or bother asking where they were taking me. I could hear in their thoughts that Carlisle had asked them to take me away from the house for a few days to see if they could talk me out of my self-imposed exile.

As we drove away, Emmett's and Jasper's thoughts crashed into me. As always, Emmett's thoughts mirrored what he was willing to say out loud. "Just go back to Bella with some flowers, apologize to her and then bite her. You know that's what you really want. She wants it too. So do it. Then you'll never have to worry about her getting hurt again. Just don't forget the flowers. Rose would kill me if I did something this stupid and didn't bring her flowers."

Jasper's thoughts were more focused on what he perceived to be his role in everything. _If I had been able to control myself better none of this would have happened. We would still be in Forks, Alice would still have her best friend and you would not be in so much pain._ "Edward, I am truly sorry for causing this." I felt strangely calm all of a sudden.

I shook off the calm feeling and growled at both of my brothers. "Stop it both of you! Jasper, stop trying to calm me. Emmett, keep your opinions to your self. I do not want to talk about this with either of you or with anyone else. I will get out of the Jeep right now if this is how you plan to spend the weekend. If you want me to stay and hunt with you, you both need to control your thoughts and your comments."

Emmett shrugged. "I was just trying to help."

"Don't you understand?" I shouted. "There is nothing either of you can do or say that will help. She was my life and I had to let her go." I closed my eyes and let my pain take me again. I knew that by spending all my time thinking about Bella I was shutting out my family, but I just could not bring myself to care about anything else.

During the next few hours, I struggled to shut out Emmett's thoughts which were vacillating back and forth between all the times he has apologized to Rosalie for doing something stupid, which was often, and the ways in which he and Rosalie made up from their fights, which were disturbing. Finally, we stopped.

Jasper leapt out of the Jeep and told us he could not take either of our emotions any longer. He said he would hunt by himself and meet up with us in a few hours.

Emmett looked at me and said, "I guess that leaves you and me together, brother. Do you care to make this interesting?"

I groaned. I just wanted to hunt quickly on my own and escape back into my memories. Reluctantly, I followed Emmett into the woods. I was not letting him force me into another stupid bet, though.

After I had sufficiently replenished myself, I found a small waterfall and sat down to wait for Emmett and Jasper. The sound of the rushing water was rather soothing. I found myself relaxing and forgetting the world around me. I started to think back to my first kiss with Bella and the second kiss and the third . . . I was so preoccupied, I did not hear Emmett approach until he was directly behind me. _Edward, you'll feel better if you talk to me._

He dropped to the ground beside me. "Are you sure that she will be better off alone?"

"How could she not, Emmett? All I ever did was put her into danger – from me, James and even Jasper. Every moment I was with her she was at risk. Her eighteenth birthday was supposed to be happy, not a blood bath. She nearly died. And all I could do is hold my breath. Now, at least she will be able to live a full human life," I said.

He shook his head. "What if that isn't what she wants? Alice said she could see that Bella was miserable."

"Alice needs to mind her own business." I grumbled.

"C'mon, Edward. You are miserable. Why is it so hard for you to believe that Bella could feel the same way? I have seen the way you look at each other. She is as crazy about you as you are about her."

"She's human, Emmett. She will move on. She will be better off when she forgets about me."

"Don't be an idiot, Edward. What happens if she can't move on? She loves you. You love her. Why should you both be miserable if all you have to do is change her and then you will never need to worry about Jasper snapping at her again."

"Emmett!" I warned. "_That_ is not an option."

"What about you, then? Can you move on? Tanya and Kate have stopped by the house a couple times to check on you. Tanya is probably still interested . . ."

I cut him off before he could finish his thought. "Of course not! Bella will always be the only one. She is my whole world. I will never be able to move on."

"Then, what is your plan? Do you want to sit in your room and feel sorry for yourself for the rest of your existence? Because that is not the least bit pathetic . . ."

"I don't know what I am going to do. But, I think I need to be on my own for awhile. I can't just move with the family again and pretend that nothing has changed."

"What will you do?"

"I don't know. I just wish there was something I could do for Bella. If there was something I could do to make her life happy, I would do it."

"Why don't you go back to Forks for awhile and watch over her?" Emmett asked.

"I know my own strength, Emmett. I don't think I could keep my promise to stay away from her if I was that close. I would always want more."

"A fight always makes me feel better. Is there someone we could go pick a fight with in the name of protecting Bella? Laurent is still staying with the sisters. He was such a coward last spring when he showed up with James and Victoria. The only reason he didn't stay with them was because he was afraid of us. Why don't we pick a fight with him?"

"Don't be ridiculous Emmett. Carlisle would not allow that and neither would the sisters. Still, you might have an idea there. What about Victoria? She knows about Bella. She helped James track Bella to Phoenix. I could track Victoria and make sure that she never comes near Bella again."

_Alright! This could be fun. She looked kind of vicious. I wonder how much of a fight she would put up, especially since she knows we destroyed James._

I snickered quietly as I heard Emmett's thoughts. "This is something I need to do by myself. Besides, Rosalie would never let you come with me."

Suddenly, I felt like I had a purpose again. This was something I still could do for Bella. I needed to hold onto this feeling, at least for a couple hours. "Emmett, would you like to go another round while we wait for Jasper? I smell a couple of grizzly bears just over the next ridge."


	4. Chapter 4 Phoenix Rising

**Author's Note: Thanks again to everyone who has kept up with this story so far. I appreciate all the kind reviews.**

_Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse or any of the characters found within them. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer who I thank for letting me play with them for awhile. No copyright infringement is intended by this story._

CHAPTER FOUR – PHOENIX RISING

We were finally on our way back to the house. Instead of wallowing in the back seat like I did on the way to the park, I was driving. Emmett was not very happy when I hopped into the driver's seat, but when he saw the look on my face he did not argue with me. Well, he did not argue with me out loud. His thoughts were slightly less generous.

While Emmett sulked, I began thinking about my next move. Now that I had realized there was something I still could do for Bella, I was anxious to get started. I also wanted to focus on the task ahead of me before my thoughts of Bella overtook me again. I was not exactly sure where to begin tracking Victoria. The last time we saw her was over seven months ago in Forks. After we returned from Phoenix with Bella, we could not find any traces of Victoria.

The quiet buzzing of my cell phone interrupted my thoughts. I knew exactly who was calling me. "Alice?" I answered.

"I have been trying to locate Victoria for you, Edward. I'm not exactly sure where she is right now, but I think you should start your search in Phoenix. She will be there soon."

She continued. "Please be careful. You know that you aren't a tracker."

"I know," I said. "But, I can learn. Once I locate her scent, I will be able to follow her." I was confident that I would be able to track Victoria. Though if I was being honest with myself, I knew that my confidence came more from necessity than a belief in my actual skills. This was one thing I still could do for Bella and I planned to see it through. I was a little concerned that the rest of my family would not be as enthusiastic about my plan.

"Have you told Carlisle that I am leaving?" I asked. I knew that Carlisle and Esme would be disappointed that I was not going to New York with them. I only hoped that they would understand why I could not join them. They knew me well enough to know that I could not be happy just continuing this existence like nothing had changed. I never would be able to do that. Bella had changed me. I was no longer content to spend my time alone with my family. Bella consumed all of my thoughts and desires. I needed her and since I could no longer have her, I needed to do everything in my power to protect her and the life I sacrificed everything for her to lead.

Alice interrupted my thoughts and continued. "Not yet," she said. "I will tell them as soon as you leave. It will be easier for you that way. I booked a 10 p.m. flight for you tonight. That should give you enough time to drive yourself to the airport. Jazz and I will pick up your car tomorrow. It will be here waiting for you whenever you come home."

"Thank you for not trying to talk me out of this." I was genuinely surprised that Alice had accepted my decision so easily. I had avoided her for the last few weeks because every time she approached my bedroom, I could hear in her thoughts that she wanted to try again to convince me to go back to Forks.

"Don't be silly, Edward. I already know that it wouldn't work. I packed a bag for you with some clothes and your passport. It will be waiting for you in the Volvo. It will be sunny in Phoenix all week so you will need to travel at night. I already reserved a rental car with tinted windows for you. I think that you will need it in Phoenix. Edward, you know I would come with you if you would let me . . ." she let her voice trail off. She already knew how I would respond.

"I know, Alice. I just need to do this by myself." I said.

"Take care of yourself. Call us when you can. Just remember that no decision is permanent. We can always go back."

As I sped to the airport in Fairbanks to catch my flight, I thought about what Alice had said. Of course, I wanted nothing more than to return to Bella and beg her to take me back. But I also knew this was the one thing I could not do. Instead of letting my mind take me back to a dangerous place, I forced myself to focus my mind on what I was going to do to track Victoria. I did not know much about her. I was so focused on James' thoughts last spring, I really did not pay any attention to Victoria. I did not think that she had any special abilities or talents. Still, I did not want to underestimate her. I did not doubt Alice, but I wondered why Victoria would go to Phoenix now. We destroyed James and the ballet studio over seven months ago. With the strong sun in Arizona, it certainly was not a friendly city for vampires to spend a lot of time.

I continued to contemplate the reasons why Victoria would go to Phoenix throughout the long flight. I silently thanked Alice for renting me a darkened car when I saw the sun starting to rise in the cloudless sky.

As I drove, my mind drifted to the events of my last trip to Phoenix. Bella had told me about the beauty of the desert, but I was too worried about her last spring to notice the scenery. Now, I could see why she liked it. The contrast between the bright blue sky, the red sand and the sparse spiky vegetation was beautiful in its own way. I found myself driving toward the ballet studio and Bella's old house. I did not consciously decide to visit Bella's house, but as I turned onto her street I realized that I had no place else to go.

Although she told me about many of her experiences growing up in Phoenix, Bella had never described her house to me. It looked fairly small from the outside – not much larger than Charlie's house in Forks. Still, I thought it looked rather cozy. I could picture Bella sitting outside on the small front porch and reading or doing her homework every night. I immediately noticed the for sale sign next to the driveway. I wondered how long it had been there and if Bella knew that her mother was selling the house.

I did not think it would hurt anything if I went inside. I found a spare key in the mouth of a small ceramic frog near the front door. I entered without hesitation. The sun was quickly rising in the sky and I knew that I would have to spend the day inside if I did not want to expose myself. Even after her long absence, I could still smell Bella's lovely fragrance in every room of her house. As I walked through the family room, I noticed a collage of Bella's school pictures on the wall, similar to the pictures in Charlie's family room. I let my hand trail briefly across Bella's beautiful face before I forced myself further into the house.

I let my senses lead me to Bella's room. It looked like Renee already had packed up most of Bella's belongings. Her bookcase stood empty and her closet was filled with boxes. I glanced at the sloppy handwriting on the first box – school papers, books, and photos. _Interesting,_ I thought to myself. I could not stop myself from opening the box to look at Bella's past.

As I sat down on Bella's bed, I could feel my mouth filling slightly with venom and a shiver running down my spine as I inhaled the familiar scent of freesia again. I swallowed hard and turned my attention to the box of Bella's memories. I don't know how long I spent perusing the contents of the box – each item I found was more fascinating than the last. It looked like Renee had saved everything from Bella's childhood. As I looked through Bella's old spelling tests and book reports I smiled at the A's that adorned each one. The photo albums were harder for me to see – each time I looked at Bella's deep chocolate brown eyes, my chest ached with longing. I sighed as I imagined that I heard her voice describing each photograph to me.

Suddenly, I heard voices and the sound of a key in the front door. I quickly repacked the box and hid both the box and myself in Bella's closet.

A high nasal voice began reciting a spiel about the house. "This is a lovely 2 bedroom-2 bathroom bungalow. As you can see, it was quite well kept. Only a single mother and daughter lived here. They did not smoke or have any pets. Also, the walls have been freshly painted and the carpeting was recently cleaned. There are plenty of retail shops nearby and the school district is top notch."

She continued. "The price is very reasonable, especially considering the condition of the house. The seller has moved from the area and is quite motivated to accept any reasonable offer." Her thoughts were somewhat more entertaining. _Please, please buy this house. I have much better ways to spend my time than listening to Mrs. Dwyer prattle on about her husband's baseball career. Although I suppose if I married a man that young, I would also talk about him to anyone who would listen . . ._

I shuddered at her thoughts and closed my eyes in an attempt to close out her annoying voice. I stayed in my hiding place inside Bella's closet until I finally heard the click of the lock on the front door again.

That night, I checked the ballet studio and the surrounding streets for any trace of Victoria. I followed a similar schedule for the next few days. During the day, I perused the boxes containing Bella's childhood memories from the peace of her bedroom. Each night, I ranged further and further away to search for Victoria. Every morning I returned to the house before sunrise dejected and angry. As the days passed, I felt myself sinking back into my depression. Still, I forced myself to remember that I was doing this to help Bella and continued to hunt for Victoria each night.

After about ten days, I began to doubt Alice's visions. It did not make any sense why Victoria would come back to Phoenix. What could she possibly want here? That night, I very nearly gave up my short-lived career as a tracker. Reluctantly, I talked myself into going for a run to clear my head before making a final decision. As I returned to Bella's house shortly before dawn, I was shocked at the pungent scent near the front door. Victoria had finally arrived in Phoenix.


	5. Chapter 5 Tracker

_Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse or any of the characters found within them. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer who I thank for letting me play with them for awhile. No copyright infringement is intended by this story._

**Author's Note: This version of Chapter 5 is somewhat different than the version that I initially published on 1-21-08.**

CHAPTER FIVE – TRACKER

I was both concerned and exhilarated to discover Victoria's scent at the front door to Bella's childhood home. I assumed that I was the reason she chose to suddenly appear there. During the days that I had awaited Victoria's arrival in Phoenix, my scent had saturated the house, particularly Bella's old bedroom. If Victoria had located the resting place for James' remains in the burned out ballet studio a couple blocks away, it probably was not difficult to follow my scent to Bella's house. After all, I was certain that she was not exactly happy with me or my family for destroying James. Although it disturbed me that Victoria had come so close to something connected with Bella. Especially since the house still contained faint traces of Bella's glorious fragrance. Thankfully, Bella was safe more than 1,000 miles away from Phoenix right now.

Despite the uneasiness that Victoria's proximity to Bella's house caused me, I was excited about the prospect of finally starting my tracking expedition. After spending the last two months immersing myself in my grief, I welcomed the temporary distraction. Still, I knew that nothing could completely distract me from the loss of my one true love.

It was too close to dawn for me to chase after Victoria that morning, but I quickly raced across the front lawn and followed the diminishing patches of shade on the sidewalk to determine which direction she had come from so I could begin tracking her in earnest at twilight.

I spent the rest of the day looking through the boxes of Bella's childhood memories for the last time. I knew that I might not be able to return to the house before it was sold and Renee shipped the remaining boxes to her new house in Florida. As the sun began to sink below the horizon, I took one last look at the school pictures of Bella that lined the family room wall and then left the house, locking the door behind me. I returned the key to its proper place in the ceramic frog's mouth and began to walk away.

I truly detested the idea of leaving Bella's house. Even though I knew that Bella had not lived there for almost a year, I still felt connected to her in the house. As I locked the door, I felt a deep sense of loss. It was almost like leaving her again. I began to think about the possibility of purchasing the house myself once I finished with Victoria. I knew that I could not buy the house in my own name, but surely Bella would never find out that I was the buyer if I bought the house through our family corporation. I could even ask the realtor if I could purchase Bella's bedroom furniture . . .

I pinched my thumb and forefinger around the bridge of my nose and tried to force my mind out of dangerous territory. Even though I knew I was a strong fighter, I did not want to lose my focus around Victoria. After taking one last look at Bella's house, I forced myself to run in the direction of Victoria's scent at a slightly super-human pace.

I soon realized that tracking was more difficult than I initially believed. That first night I lost Victoria's trail after a few miles. I returned to Bella's neighborhood to pick up my rental car so I could cover more ground. I had to remember to thank Alice the next time I spoke to her. She had rented me a Volvo quite similar to my own. Of course, this car had not benefited from Rosalie's mechanical expertise, but it was sufficient for my purposes. More importantly, the tint on the windows was dark enough to allow me to travel during the day.

More than two weeks had passed and I still had not caught up to Victoria. I could not figure out what I was doing wrong. I tried to follow Victoria's scent like I had followed the scents of other predators on innumerable hunting trips. Each time I felt like I was coming close to her, however, the trail suddenly disappeared. When I tried to open my mind up to her thoughts, I could not locate her. Then, when I grew frustrated and contemplated giving up, the trail would suddenly reappear. It almost seemed like she was toying with me.

I followed Victoria's trail like this from Phoenix into New Mexico and then back into Arizona near the red rock mountains surrounding Sedona. All along the way, Victoria seemed to be several steps ahead of me. When I reached Sedona, I learned that several hikers recently had disappeared while hiking in the red rocks. The disappearances had all of the hallmarks of attacks by an experienced vampire. According to the local news reports, the hikers had started their hikes just before sunset, their tracks had completely disappeared from the trail and no one could find any traces of the hikers. It seemed like Victoria's blood lust had caused her to make a grave mistake.

The fact that she took the time to hunt innocent humans while leading me on a chase through the southwest made me even more determined to eliminate Victoria. I thought that I would try to trap her in the mountains before she could cause any more harm. Before I could think of hunting Victoria, though, I knew I should spend some time hunting for myself before she led me back into the desert. The mountain lions and black bears in the mountains were much more appetizing than the jackrabbits and prairie dogs I was likely to find in the desert. I hunted efficiently during the night. Once I was sated, I found a small cave to hide in until sunset. Normally I spent the sunny days hidden in a hotel room or driving my rental car, but today I did not want to take the chance of missing Victoria.

The benefit and curse of tracking was that it took up most of my senses. I could not immerse myself in my memories of Bella and successfully focus on discovering Victoria's trail at the same time. But as soon as I lost the trail or had to retreat indoors, the agony of my loss crashed into me and my memories of Bella flooded my vision. The empty look in Bella's eyes and the pain in her voice during the afternoon I said goodbye haunted me.

As I waited out the sun in the cave, I closed my eyes and let the misery take me. Alone in the wilderness, I had nothing to distract me from the agony of being without Bella. I lost all sense of time. In fact, I did not even notice when the sun passed beyond the horizon.

I do not know how long I would have stayed there if my cell phone had not buzzed. The sound made me jump. I did not have to look at the caller ID – it was Alice, of course. I hesitated to answer the phone. I knew that she would try to convince me again that I should give up on tracking Victoria and just return to Bella. I did not want to argue with Alice again. Even though I longed to talk to her, I decided to let her leave a voicemail message. As soon as she hung up, I checked my messages. "Edward? I know that you don't want to talk to me right now. That's fine. But I had to warn you not to waste any more time in the cave. If you keep wallowing in the darkness, you will lose Victoria for good. Call me when you can. We all miss you, especially Esme."

By the time I left the cave, the sun had already set. I silently cursed for allowing myself to get so distracted. I did not want to expose myself by leaving a trail all over the mountains, so I stayed on the path close to the cave and opened up my mind for Victoria's thoughts.

I did not have to wait very long before I heard something. _Just one more little snack and I can be on my way again. I'm sure one of the resorts has another stargazing hike scheduled for tonight. How romantic._ Her voice was high, almost child-like, but instead of sounding sweet like a child's voice, it sounded harsh and cruel. She continued to think about the activity schedules of various resorts in the area.

I crept silently in the direction of "the voice." I hoped that I might be able to catch up to her while she focused her thoughts on her next victims. She seemed to be stalking something parallel to one of the popular hiking paths. As I neared her position, the wind picked up and slightly shifted direction. I paused, hoping that she would not pick up my scent. I could not see her yet, but I knew I was close. Suddenly, in a flash of bright orange and white, she leapt in my direction. I wheeled around bracing myself for a fight. It never came. Instead, she disappeared, although from time to time I could see traces of her flame-colored hair as it streaked through the tree line. I chased after her, pushing myself to increase my speed. But as suddenly as I found her trail, I lost it again. I ran for several hours before I doubled back to my cave. I could not find any additional traces of her. Somehow, she had eluded me.

Dejected, I left Sedona. I picked up Victoria's scent in Flagstaff, but did not see her again. Over the next few weeks, I picked up traces of Victoria's trail throughout southern New Mexico and Texas and finally across the border into Mexico. By the time I reached Mexico, it was nearly Christmas.


	6. Chapter 6 Christmas Angel

_Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse or any of the characters found within them. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer who I thank for letting me play with them for a while. No copyright infringement is intended by this story._

CHAPTER SIX – CHRISTMAS ANGEL

Tracking Victoria had become increasingly difficult. I kept losing the trail only to re-find it several days later. As my failures mounted, I became more and more depressed. What had started out as a mission to ensure that Victoria never came near Bella again had become my only escape from the anguish of losing my angel. Truly it was not much of an escape. As soon as I stopped actively tracking Victoria, the pain overtook me. Each night it became harder to force myself to continue the hunt.

Just before Christmas, I picked up a new trail leading from Texas into Mexico to the area just outside Monterrey. While I was fairly certain that Victoria had traveled into Monterrey, I could not find any traces of her in the city. I wandered the streets at night desperately trying to locate her. Before I knew it, it was Christmas Eve. That night, I found myself walking towards the center of the city to the grand plaza. This part of Monterrey was quite old with brick and stone buildings instead of the miniature skyscrapers that dotted the rest of the landscape. Here, the cobblestone streets were lined with vintage street lamps that resembled the gas lamps of my childhood. Each street lamp was decorated with pine roping and twinkling lights. Large green wreaths hung on every building. I felt as if I had stepped backward in time. I wondered if I would call attention to myself if I sat down in the plaza. I desperately wanted to take a break from tracking, at least for one night, and the beautiful setting made me long for home and Bella.

I wondered how Bella planned to celebrate Christmas. I wished that I had asked her about her family's Christmas traditions. Would she celebrate Christmas in Forks with Charlie or would she visit Renee in Florida? Would they sing Christmas carols together? What type of presents would she receive? This would have been our first Christmas together. Would she have allowed me to give her a gift? There were so many things I longed to give her.

No matter where we lived, my family always planned an elaborate celebration for Christmas, especially since the year that Alice and Jasper joined us. Alice tried to outdo herself with the decorations each year. Last year, she built a life-size gingerbread house in our front lawn, complete with 6-foot tall gingerbread soldiers guarding the front door and a gingerbread family inside. Without fail, we always exchanged our gifts at the stroke of midnight on Christmas Eve and when we finished, everyone sang Christmas carols while I played the piano. This year, I had hoped that I would be able to share all of this with Bella and that she and I might create some Christmas traditions of our own. Instead, I could not even join my family for the holidays. _Oh Bella,_ I thought, _nothing makes any sense without you. How am I going to learn to survive without you in my life?_ I thought again about driving back to Forks to check that Bella was safe and happy, but I knew that was impossible. I was not strong enough to be so close to Bella and still keep my promise to stay away from her.

The sound of a beautiful melody drifting into the silent street broke into my thoughts. I looked around, slightly started at the intrusion. As I stopped for a moment to listen, I realized that the melody was actually a Christmas carol coming from inside the cathedral on the northern edge of the plaza. It had been so long since I had heard any music. I had avoided it for months now because I thought it would remind me of Bella. Still, the sound coming from the cathedral was rather soothing. I wondered if anyone would mind if I stepped inside to listen for a moment. Surely not even God would begrudge a soulless being like myself a moment of peace for Christmas.

I entered the cathedral and quietly closed the heavy wooden doors behind me. I decided to stand in the back so I would not disturb anyone. The cathedral was enormous with elaborate murals adorning the ceiling and each wall. The only light in the cathedral came from evenly spaced candelabra. All of the pews appeared to be full. I was amazed that so many people, both young and old, could be here at this time of the night. As I listened to the organ and the sweet voices of the boys' choir, my mind began to drift again to my lovely Bella.

During the months after I met Bella I had felt more alive – more human – than I could ever remember feeling. After I left, it felt as if I had died once again. Nothing could interest me. Nothing else mattered. Each moment I spent without the distraction of tracking, I thought about Bella. That in itself was not that different from when we were together. Except that when we were together, I focused my thoughts on the next time I could hold her or the next time I could kiss her. Now, I began to think about whether someone else was touching her, holding her or even kissing her. I shuddered as that thought crossed my mind and tried to focus on Bella's deep brown eyes.

Instead of the loving gaze I hoped to picture on Bella's face, my mind conjured up the empty look Bella gave me when I told her I was leaving. My chest began to ache in a way I thought was no longer possible. If I could sleep, I know that I would have had nightmares about the day that I left. Without the escape of sleep, every minute of every day was a waking nightmare in which I was doomed to relive the worst moment of my existence over and over without any hope of relief.

The anguish I felt must have shown on my face because I suddenly noticed an elderly priest walking toward me. His thoughts were focused on me. _One so young should not feel such pain. What could be so troubling?_

I quickly tried to compose myself before he reached me. "Are you alright my son?" he asked me. He spoke to me in English with a strong accent.

I gave him a small smile that I knew did not reach my eyes. "Yes, father. I am fine." I responded in flawless Spanish.

"You are American, yes? How can such a handsome young man be so sad and alone on Christmas?"

I groaned inwardly. He obviously saw right through my attempt at composure. "Yes, father. I am a long way from home." I said, sidestepping his second question. Obviously, I could not tell him that the reason I was so far from home involved leaving an angel and tracking a vicious vampire throughout the southwest.

He smiled at me. "Since you are all alone, you will join us for supper after midnight mass. The boys are always extremely hungry after singing. It will be a simple meal, but we would be happy to share it with you."

I hesitated for a moment. I had planned to lie and tell him that I had other plans, but it did not seem proper to lie to a priest. Instead, I said, "That is very kind of you, but I do not want to intrude."

"Nonsense," he chuckled. "The boys will welcome the company of someone younger than the elderly priests they are used to entertaining. Please, let me introduce myself. My name is Father Jose Maria Aguilar. I run the Santa Isabella orphanage just behind the cathedral." He held out his hand for me to shake.

_Santa Isabella_, I thought. The coincidence that the orphanage happened to have the same name as my angel compelled me to accept Father Aguilar's offer. "Edward Cullen." I said as I reached out to shake Father Aguilar's hand. "I am delighted to accept your kind offer."

His eyes widened slightly as he touched my cold hand, but he did not audibly register any shock or discomfort. His thoughts also stayed relatively calm. _It must be much colder outside than I thought._

We stood in companionable silence until the mass ended. Father Aguilar told me that it would take him a few minutes to gather the boys together and asked me to meet him at the front of the orphanage around the corner from the cathedral.

I waited for several minutes at the appointed place. Soon, I could hear the thoughts and voices of several young boys. As they rounded the corner, I could see Father Aguilar herding about fifteen boys between the ages of seven and twelve toward the front gate of the orphanage. They all stopped as they saw me standing at the gate.

"Boys, this is Edward. He will be joining us for dinner. Please be kind to him. He is all alone for Christmas."

I tried to conjure up a winning smile. The boys stood there for a moment staring at me. Their thoughts were mainly focused on the dinner awaiting them inside, but some of the boys registered surprise that Father Aguilar had invited a non-priest to dine with them. The smallest of the boys bravely skipped toward me and grabbed my hand to tug me forward. "Come on Eduardo. I am Alejandro. You will sit next to me."

I allowed the small boy to tug me through the front door and into the dining room. The entire time he chattered excitedly about a wide variety of topics, including his expectations for Christmas dinner. I was shocked at the ease with which he spoke to me and grabbed my hand. It almost seemed like he did not even notice my unnatural coldness.

Once we all entered the dining room, Father Aguilar instructed the boys to excuse themselves and wash their hands before they sat down. I asked him if these were all of his charges. He told me that they generally had between 25 and 40 boys living there at any time, but they had been unusually lucky that year to find good homes for several boys. He also informed me that they held classes jointly with a girls' orphanage on the other side of the cathedral and that the girls would be joining them for their afternoon meal on Christmas day.

After the boys returned, they helped Father Aguilar and another priest bring out the simple meal of vegetable soup, bread, meat and cheese. After Father Aguilar said a short prayer, the boys began eagerly eating and talking. I tried to move the food around my plate without eating any of it, but Alejandro soon picked up on my lack of appetite. "Aren't you hungry, Eduardo? I helped make the soup and the bread. You have to try some."

I smiled at his exuberance and began spooning the soup into my mouth. I tried my best not to grimace as I felt it sloshing into my stomach. I would have to get rid of it later. I did not want to offend anyone by not eating. Alejandro continued chattering happily throughout the meal. He constantly switched topics, telling me in one moment about his favorite foods and then switching to his future plans to be a famous baseball player.

Time quickly passed and soon it was time for the boys to go to bed and me to leave. I thanked Father Aguilar again and wished each of the boys a Merry Christmas. As I left, I longed to do something nice to repay Father Aguilar and the boys for their kindness to me. Even though it was no longer possible for me to be happy, I wanted their Christmas to be jolly and bright.

I had some ideas of what I could do for them, but quickly decided that I would need additional help to get presents to them on Christmas morning. I dialed Alice's cell phone number and braced myself for the reproach I would receive for not calling sooner.

"Edward!" she exclaimed. "I am so happy to hear from you. Of course I will help you get presents for the orphanage. I may need to call in some favors, but there are some wonderful stores in Monterrey that we might be able to convince to open a little early. Why don't you talk to Carlisle and Esme while I make a few phone calls?"

Before I could respond, Alice had passed the phone to Esme who quietly asked me if I was okay.

"I am not okay, but I _am_ surviving. I followed Victoria to Mexico and have had some difficulty locating her trail again. I know that I am neglecting all of you. I will try to call more often."

"We all know that this is difficult for you, Edward. I do not want to cause you any more pain, but you should know that we all miss you very much. You always have a place here with us. Your bedroom is ready for you whenever you choose to come home to us."

"Thank you, Mom. I just need to finish this – for Bella and for me."

Esme sighed. "We understand. Merry Christmas, Edward. Please call us when you can. Alice tries to keep track of where you are, but I cannot keep myself from worrying."

Alice took the phone back and gave me directions to a few stores. She explained that she had already called the owners and _persuaded_ them to open their doors for me in two hours. I was sure that by 'persuaded,' Alice meant that she had bribed them, but I did not really care. Alice warned me that I needed to finish my shopping and bring the gifts back to the orphanage by no later than 6:00 a.m. because it would be a sunny day. I thanked her and promised to call again soon.

I raced back to my car and followed Alice's directions. The store owners were true to their word and allowed me to purchase everything I needed. They even helped me wrap all of the presents. As soon as I had everything together, I raced back to the orphanage to put everything in place before the boys awakened.

When I finished, I changed into a long shirt and gloves and placed a hat on my head so I could watch the orphanage from behind the bushes in front without exposing myself. I did not have to wait long. Alejandro was the first of the boys to come downstairs. When he saw the stack of gifts at the bottom of the stairs, he began to shout for everyone to come downstairs. Then, he began searching for his own gift. His face glowed as he opened the baseball bat, glove, ball and uniform that I bought him. The other boys looked equally happy as they opened the items I had seen in each of their minds. I saw Father Aguilar scrutinizing the sign I had placed on the front door. I raced across the street to my car so he would not see me as he came outside.

As he and the boys poured out the front door, he suddenly stumbled and grabbed the front gate hard. _Impossible_, he thought. His face registered his shock as he saw the new station wagon that I had purchased for him. "Who could have done this?' he said to no one in particular. He looked up and down the street for someone to claim responsibility for the gifts.

Alejandro tugged on his hand and said, "It was Eduardo, father. I know it. Father, he was an angel."

The old priest patted Alejandro's head and smiled. "I think you might be right, little one. He was our own Christmas angel."


	7. Chapter 7 Runaway

_Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse or any of the characters found within them. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer who I thank for letting me play with them for awhile. No copyright infringement is intended by this story._

CHAPTER SEVEN – RUNAWAY

As I drove away from the Santa Isabella orphanage, I felt as if my heart had vanished and had been replaced by a gaping hole. During the past few months I had tried so desperately to distract myself with tracking Victoria and in just a few hours, all the pain had come rushing back to me even more intense than before. I needed to get away from the city to think. The happy Christmas sentiments floating through everyone's minds were becoming too much for me to bear. Instead of the dull hum of voices that I always heard in any urban setting, the voices in Monterrey sounded more like screaming fans at a rock concert. If I had not known that it was impossible for a vampire to have a headache, I would have thought that I was having my first migraine.

I drove from downtown Monterrey into the national park in the mountains that surrounded the city. The piercing voices flooding my mind finally began to quiet until the only voice I could hear was my own. Once I exited the car, I opened my mind and listened carefully to ensure that no humans were nearby and then darted off into the sunny wilderness.

_Isabella_. From the moment Father Aguilar mentioned her name, I could not distract myself from the agony of my separation from her. How was it possible that the only person I spoke to in Monterrey happened to work in a place named for my angel? It was an astounding coincidence. As soon as I had heard her name mentioned out loud, the floodgates had opened. I had tried so hard to avoid music of any kind since the dark day that I left Bella in the hope that avoiding music might somehow lessen my pain. Yet, as soon as I stepped into the cathedral and heard the boys' choir singing Christmas carols, I began to hear the lullaby I wrote for Bella in my head. The sound of Bella's lullaby after such a long time overwhelmed my mind and interrupted all of my other thoughts.

I pushed myself faster and faster as I ran, dodging through the large trees that covered the landscape. If anyone had been able to see me, they would have believed they had seen a shooting star. I wondered if it was absurd for a 100-year old vampire to consider running away. Right now, it was all I could think of doing. If I could just continue running long enough, maybe I could refrain from thinking or feeling.

Unfortunately, my ploy did not work. In fact, my race over the mountains just enhanced the sound of Bella's lullaby in my head. Now, instead of hearing the piano version of Bella's lullaby, my mind had added the sweet voices of a boys' choir to accompany it. The sound was both soothing and agonizing. It painted a picture for me of everything I had ever loved and lost – Bella's smile, her eyes, her blush, and her heart. Maybe hearing things that were not there was a sign that I finally had cracked. I wondered if that was even possible for a vampire. Certainly Rosalie had been telling me for years that I was crazy. Maybe it was true.

No! I knew what was wrong with me. I needed my Bella. Nothing in this existence made any sense without her. She was my everything.

After reaching this conclusion, I finally forced myself to slow down. I began to follow the sound of rushing water to a small waterfall that cascaded down the side of the mountain. Adjacent to the waterfall, I found a secluded clearing where I could focus on the thoughts running through my mind. The clearing did not compare to my meadow in Forks, but it was sunny and picturesque in its own way. Green grass carpeted the ground and the bubbling waterfall glistened in the sun. The only thing it was missing was a beautiful brunette with deep chocolate brown eyes and a breathtaking smile.

I sat down in the grass near the waterfall so I could feel the warm southern sun on my face. I closed my eyes and let my mind drift. Is it possible that I was meant to meet Father Aguilar? Was the Santa Isabella orphanage a sign that my Bella was thinking about me and missing me as much as I missed her? I wished there was some way I could know for sure that I was doing the right thing by staying away from her. _You could always go back to her and beg her to take you back_, I thought to myself. _Impossible._ I knew that was not an option. I was barely strong enough to leave in September when I was certain it was the only way I could keep her safe. By going back I would only endanger her life again and I knew that I never would have the strength to leave her again. The first time had very nearly killed me and I was practically indestructible.

_What if she has moved on and is dating Newton, now?_ _Or someone else?_ As my thoughts drifted into that dangerous subject, I felt the urge to break something. I hoped that Bella realized how insincere and disgusting Newton's mind was. He never would be good enough for her. Nor would anyone else. No one could ever love Bella as completely as I did. My thoughts continued to drift along the same lines for hours. Before long, it was twilight again. I stayed in the mountains that night using hunting as an excuse. I could not force myself to chance listening to more happy Christmas thoughts in Monterrey.

During the night, I argued with myself over what I would do next. I knew that I should continue running away from Forks and Bella, but I wanted so badly to see her again. On the other hand, I wanted so desperately for Bella to have all of the human experiences that I could never give her and the safety I could never guarantee. Ultimately, my selfish nature won out. I decided that the best course of action was a compromise of sorts. I would continue to track Victoria and once I caught up to her and made certain that she would never pose a threat to Bella, I would allow myself to go back to Forks to see for myself that Bella was safe and happy. If she was happy and moving on with her life, I would let her live the life she was supposed to have with no monsters. If she was as miserable as I was, I would beg her forgiveness for lying about the depth of my feelings for her and would show her how truly and completely I will always love her.

All I had to do now was locate and eliminate Victoria as quickly as possible. Then, once I finished my task I could see my Bella again. _Easier said than done_, I thought. Still, I felt a small surge of hope that she may still want me and the ache in my chest lessened a little. Part of me was already certain that Bella had begun to move on with her life as I requested, but I refused to allow that part of me to overshadow my hope.

When I reached my rental car, I immediately detected the scent of another vampire. It was Victoria. I wondered how she could have wandered so close to my car after so many days. Before now I could not locate even a trace of her. It almost seemed like she purposely had left me a breadcrumb trail to follow like in a child's fairy tale. I could not fathom what would motivate her to do so. Surely, she did not think I had tracked her this long just to wish her a Merry Christmas. She had to realize that my motives were much less friendly.

As my mind raced over the possible reasons why she would do something so foolish, I decided that it did not matter. I had come too far to give up now. I had to finish this obligation in order to see my Bella again – even if it was only from a distance.

I followed Victoria back into Texas. No matter how fast I traveled, I always seemed to remain at least several hours behind her. Unlike my previous experiences following her trail, however, this time Victoria seemed to travel in a straight line. I did not lose her scent in any of the small towns along the route to San Antonio. She finally seemed to stop at the San Antonio airport. When I reached the airport it was nearly dawn. Victoria's trail already was several hours old, but I was able to follow it to the ticket counter for TAM Brazilian airlines. What could she possibly want in Brazil, I wondered.

_Wow. Isn't he a tall drink of water? I think this one might just make my day. What a cutie. Come over here to me baby and I will tell you anything you want to know._ I looked up and saw a middle-aged woman with long bleached blond hair grinning at me from behind the counter. I repressed my urge to grimace and instead managed to give her a weak smile.

"Can I help you with anything sweetheart?" she said. _I'm sure I could do something to put a big grin on his gorgeous face._

I tried my best to ignore the pictures that accompanied her thoughts. "Yes, ma'am. Could you please tell me which flights have departed within the last eight hours?" I guessed that Victoria could not have been any further ahead of me than that.

_Cute and a gentleman – what a combination. _"Of course, sweetheart. The only flight we had last night was an 11:45 p.m. flight to Rio de Janeiro. That's in Brazil." _How I would love to go to Rio with this cutie. They say that attending Carnival is an amazing aphrodisiac . . ._

I pinched the bridge of my nose and tried to will away her lascivious thoughts. "Just to be clear, there have been no other flights on TAM since that time?" I asked.

"That's correct. Are you interested in going to Rio, sweetheart? Our next flight is in just a few hours?" _Maybe I could put in for some vacation time and go there with you._

I groaned quietly at the idea of having to listen to her thoughts all the way to Brazil. "Actually, I would prefer to take an evening flight. I would like to purchase one first class ticket for tonight." I tried to keep my annoyance with this ridiculous woman hidden until after she confirmed that I could get on the 6:00 p.m. flight.

"You're all booked. You aren't going all the way to Rio by yourself, are you?" _If you are, I'm definitely scheduling some vacation time._

Ugh. I desperately needed to come up with a convincing lie to keep this silly woman from following me. I quickly decided to play up my youthful appearance and blame my family. "No, ma'am. I am meeting my family there for winter break. I did not think I would be able to go with them, but last night I decided I did not want to stay home alone. Thank you for your assistance. I know my mother would appreciate your kindness." I cringed at saying something so childish, but it was much better than the alternative. As soon as the woman handed me my confirmation, I sprinted out to my car to wait out the sun and ponder what Victoria could be planning. I felt my cell phone buzzing, but I switched it off without even bothering to look at the caller ID. I did not want to talk to Alice about my trip to Brazil. I just wanted to go there, destroy Victoria and return to my love as quickly as possible. This was one plan that I did not intend to over-think.


	8. Chapter 8 Panic

_Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse or any of the characters found within them. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer who I thank for letting me play with them for awhile. No copyright infringement is intended by this story._

CHAPTER EIGHT – PANIC

I boarded the airplane last and closed my eyes shortly after take-off in the hope that if I pretended to sleep, the flight attendants would ignore me for the remainder of the long flight. As the flight progressed, I could not contain my growing anxiety and excitement over the imminent conclusion to my tracking expedition. I knew that I would do everything in my power to end Victoria's existence as quickly as possible so I could go see my Bella again. With such a reward waiting for me, there was no chance that I would fail.

As I sat there, I pondered what I would say to Bella to convince her how truly and deeply I loved her. I could not forget the look she gave me when I lied to her and I knew that I would have to explain how I could say something so loathsome and unthinkable as 'I did not want her.' But I was getting ahead of myself – everything depended on whether Bella would even want me back in her life. She could have moved on as I had intended for her to do or finally realized that I was unworthy of her love. I was quite aware that I did not deserve her, but still I selfishly wanted so badly to keep her forever. My desire frightened me more than I cared to admit.

When the airplane finally began its descent into Rio, my anxiety had reached its peak. I could only recall one other time in my existence when I felt more anxious and uneasy than now – when I raced to Phoenix to save Bella from James. Only Bella could evoke this type of feeling in me. Before I met her, I had not thought it was possible for me to feel so strongly about anything or anyone. It seemed ridiculous that my life could have changed so drastically in one year. Yet, I could not imagine my existence without my angel. How absurd that instead of holding onto her with all my immortal strength, I now found myself, a vampire, in sunny Rio when my beautiful Bella was thousands of miles away in the rainy Olympic peninsula. It seemed so backward.

When my flight finally landed, I was the first in line to exit the airplane. I hurried into the terminal sniffing discreetly to pick up Victoria's scent. I continuously had to force myself to slow down before I revealed my unnatural nature to the entire airport by running at my true speed. After a quick tour, it was apparent that Victoria had not entered the terminal. I was not worried yet, though. The airport had numerous terminals spread out over a large area. Victoria's flight could have arrived into any of them. I just had to locate the correct gate and follow her from there. I wondered again why Victoria chose to take a commercial flight in close proximity to so many humans. My family had a lot of practice abstaining from human blood, but I knew that no matter how recently Jasper had hunted, he still would have felt uncomfortable on such a long flight. I could not imagine how Victoria refrained from murdering the humans on her flight.

I shook myself out of those frivolous thoughts. There would be plenty of time to think about that _after_ I was finished with Victoria. I jogged through the remaining terminals of the airport as fast as I could without drawing any additional attention to myself. When I finished investigating the last terminal I began to panic. I could not find Victoria's trail anywhere in the airport.

How could I have missed her? I decided that I had no choice but to ask Alice to help me locate Victoria. It felt somewhat like cheating, but I could not afford to waste any more time. As soon as I turned on my cell phone and before I could dial her number, my cell phone began buzzing.

"Edward." Alice screeched. "Why did you ignore my telephone calls? I can't see her, Edward. All I see is you in pain somewhere very dark. Where are you?"

"Alice, calm down. I followed Victoria to Rio de Janeiro, but I can't seem to find her trail. I need your help to find her quickly, before she can get away from me." I said.

"That's what I am trying to tell you. I can't see Victoria anywhere near you. I don't think she is in Rio. Edward, you should go back to Bella like you decided. You need each other."

"Alice, I asked you not to look for her future." I growled quietly.

"I haven't tried to look for Bella. I don't have to see her because I can see you. I know what is happening to you, Edward. It won't get any better. You will only become more withdrawn and miserable. Please come home."

"I am not worried about myself, Alice. I am doing this for Bella and I will continue until I am sure that Victoria will never pose a threat to her. I will talk to you again when I find her." I hung up the phone before she could say anything else.

I was not going to allow myself to give up without searching the city. I waited out the sun at one of the numerous hotels on the beach. It truly was a beautiful setting, but I could not enjoy the sun and surf. I probably was the only being in the city that chose to spend his day indoors pacing. As the hours passed, I became more and more disturbed at my predicament. I finally had to force myself to sit down in the corner of the hotel room before I wore a hole in the carpeting from all of my pacing.

The moment the sun disappeared from the horizon, I began to search for Victoria again. To be sure that I did not miss anything, I decided to search the entire city in concentric circles out from the airport. I followed the same pattern for days – pacing during the day and fanning out my search at night. I even searched the mountains and the beaches. After about one week, I was convinced. Victoria never came to Rio. I had failed and lost the deal I had made with myself – I could not go back to my Bella.

I did not bother going back to the hotel. What was the point? Nothing could comfort me. I found a vacant building in one of the many small shantytowns that spread throughout Rio's downtown area and climbed into the attic where no one would see me. It was completely devoid of light, but my vampire eyes still could see. Small beams of sunlight filtered through nail holes in the roof. The floor was littered with rubble and dust, but I did not care. I dragged myself into the corner and wrapped my arms around my knees in an attempt to hold myself together. I took out the worn picture I stole from Bella's bedroom and touched her face.

I stopped counting the days. It was hard enough for me to get through each hour. I could hear the sounds of Carnival all around me, but the Latin music, happy screams and booming fireworks did nothing to lift me out of my misery. I ignored it all.

I only left the attic once or twice to hunt or conduct a haphazard search for Victoria. The rest of the time, I stayed huddled into myself in the corner. It was all so pointless. Even though I desperately wanted to see Bella again, I could not face her or my family as such a failure. The days passed so slowly and the nights took even longer. I had no way to distract myself from the agony. It took all of my willpower to remain in the attic instead of crawling back to Forks on my knees to beg Bella's forgiveness.

After several weeks to myself – frankly, I had no concept of how much time had passed – my cell phone started buzzing. I did not care to check the caller ID. It did not matter who was calling me. I had no desire to speak to anyone other than Bella and I knew that she did not have this number. As the hours passed, my cell phone continued to buzz at me. Whoever it was, they were certainly persistent. After more than fifteen calls, my patience had worn thin. I finally answered. It was Rosalie.

"What do you want Rosalie?" I snarled. I did not bother pretending to be civil.

"It's nice to talk to you too, Edward." She retorted. I could picture the condescending smirk she had on her face.

"I'm hanging up now." I said. I scowled as I wondered how she still managed to irritate me from thousands of miles away.

"Wait! Edward, we really need to talk."

"I don't want to talk to you Rosalie. If I wanted to talk, I would have answered one of the other fifteen times you called me. Where is Alice? I am certain she can tell you just how serious I am."

"Alice isn't here. That is partly why I called you."

I did not know how to answer her, so I let her continue. "No one else wanted to tell you right now, but I think you deserve to know. Then, you can stop all this silliness and come home to your family."

It seemed as if she was purposely trying to irritate me with her cryptic responses. "I am not in the mood to play games with you, Rosalie. What exactly do you feel the need to tell me?"

She paused. That concerned me somewhat. It was rather unlike Rosalie to hesitate over anything. "What is going on, Rosalie?" I prompted.

"She's dead, Edward. The silly girl jumped off a cliff and killed herself, so you see there is no reason for you to stay away any longer. You can stop worrying about her and come home. We can all be a family again – just as if the stupid human never stumbled into our lives."

My mind was racing. Who was she talking about? She said human – certainly she could not be talking about Bella. "Who are you talking about, Rosalie? What human?"

"Bella, of course. Don't you see Edward? Now that she is gone, you don't need to stay away any longer. You might feel a little sad for a while, but once you come home we can all be together. Emmett really misses you for some reason. So do Alice and Esme."

I growled loudly and cut her off before she could say anything more. "You're lying!" I shouted. "She can't be dead. What are you playing at, Rosalie?"

She spoke very slowly as if she thought I was a child. "Edward, it's true. Alice had a vision that Bella jumped off a cliff and disappeared. There was no way to reach her in time to stop her. Alice has gone to Forks to help Charlie cope with Bella's death. She couldn't stay away now that he has no one. No one else wanted to tell you, but I thought you had the right to know . . ."

No! This cannot be true. Rosalie continued talking, but I barely registered what she said. "She promised me." I whispered.

Rosalie's harsh tone interrupted my thoughts. "What did you say? Edward, are you even listening to me?"

I hung up the phone without responding. I knew that this was not possible. Bella had promised me that she would not do anything reckless or stupid. She would not break her promise. Rosalie's jealousy of Bella must have sunken to a new low if she had decided to resort to telling me that Bella was dead to induce me to come home. If she understood me at all, she would have known that Bella's death would destroy me, not convince me to return to my family and pretend that the last year had not occurred. No! This must be a trick or a mistake.

I decided that the best way to prove Rosalie wrong was to call Charlie's house. If Bella answered, I would know for certain that she was okay. If Charlie answered, I could pretend to be Carlisle and ask about Bella's health. After nearly ninety years with Carlisle, I could mimic his voice closely enough that Charlie would not be able to tell the difference.

I closed my eyes and dialed the number. I tried to steel myself against the thrill I would certainly feel if Bella answered the telephone. My hands started to shake in anticipation of hearing my angel's voice again after almost six months without her.


	9. Chapter 9 Rage

_Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse or any of the characters found within them. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer who I thank for letting me play with them for awhile. No copyright infringement is intended by this story._

CHAPTER NINE – RAGE

As I nervously waited for Bella's telephone to ring, I focused hard on not crushing my cell phone in my eagerness to talk to my angel. I had no idea what I would say if Bella answered. I wanted so badly to explain everything to her, but it felt improper to do it over the telephone. I needed to talk to her in person and see her eyes to know if she could ever forgive me. The phone rang only once before a low boyish voice answered, "Swan residence." The voice startled me. Who could that be? I knew that it was not Charlie and I could not understand why some boy was answering Bella's telephone. Was he a family friend or worse, Bella's new boyfriend? I felt a twinge deep in the pit of my stomach akin to what I felt each time I had to listen to Mike Newton's disgusting thoughts about Bella.

I realized that I had stopped breathing when he picked up the telephone. I took a deep breath and responded before the boy could hang up on me. "This is Dr. Carlisle Cullen." I clipped in Carlisle's subtle British accent. "May I please speak to Charlie Swan?"

"He's not here." The boy said tersely. I could detect a hint of annoyance in his voice. I wondered briefly what Carlisle could have done to provoke him.

"Could you tell me where I can reach him?" I asked trying to keep my tone light and calm even though I was becoming rather annoyed too. Unlike me, Carlisle rarely showed animosity towards others.

There was a slight pause before the boy responded. "He's at the funeral."

Funeral. The one word crashed into me and before I could move or even think I snapped my cell phone shut and dropped it. A small part of my mind screamed at me that Bella could not be dead, that this was all a mistake and she was merely waiting for me to come home to her. I disregarded that thought as I felt a deafening roar leave my throat. It echoed all around me. It did not matter if anyone heard me. Nothing mattered anymore. My Bella was dead and it was my fault. I pictured my beautiful angel pale and cold and lying so still with her brown hair fanned out behind her. If I had not left her or if I had allowed Alice to monitor Bella's future, this never would have happened. Her death only added to the body count I had racked up in my long life, but it crushed me as no other death ever had. My chest began to ache. It became harder and harder to breathe. I wished for the escape of unconsciousness, but instead I felt rage.

"No! No! No!" I shouted to the world. I saw red all around me. In my fury, I began to pull apart the attic wall by wall. I had to destroy something since I could not destroy myself. Once I collapsed the roof, I began pulling down the rest of the shanty. Too soon, I found myself on the ground with bits of rubble all around me. I squeezed and crushed the decrepit boards until the shanty became just a pile of dust. I fell to my knees and roared again.

I knew exactly what I needed to do next. Although my mind still was not ready to form coherent thoughts, I did not even need to think about this. I decided my path the moment I heard the boy say the word 'funeral.' I had planned my escape from this existence a year ago when I was afraid I would not be able to save Bella from James. Now, I merely had to follow through with my plans. I just needed to get to the airport and on a flight to Italy. I could figure out the remaining details of my plan on the way to see the Volturi.

I dropped my cell phone in a trash bin. I no longer had any need for it and I did not want to talk to anyone. I was certain that Alice would see my plans and somehow try to talk me out of them or stop me. She would fail. They all would. No one could force me to continue this pointless existence without Bella.

I stole the first car I saw parked on the street and sped to the airport. I quickly changed out of my dusty shirt and left the car at the curb. I would be far away before anyone even noticed the abandoned car. For one of the first times in the last ninety years, it took very little effort for me to prevent the thoughts of all of the humans in the airport from invading my mind. My mind's only focus was on getting myself to Italy as quickly as possible. Once I purchased a ticket for the first available flight to Florence, I tried to compose myself somewhat and plan my next move. No one dared approach me. The vacant look on my face mirrored the look I had caused on Bella's face when I had to say goodbye to her in September, but my black eyes still flashed with fury. I whispered softly to myself again and again, "This is all your fault."

_I've never seen anyone look so pale and unhappy, especially someone so beautiful. Just look at those dark eyes. Rio is supposed to be the "fun capital" of Latin America – what could make someone look that way? I wonder if he just needs to talk. I have some time before we begin our cross check for take-off, maybe he'd like to talk to me. _I looked up to see a female flight attendant staring at me. I definitely was not in the frame of mind to talk to anyone, at least not without taking out my volatile emotions on them. I wanted to be left alone so I could think of my beautiful Bella and plan the quickest way to ensure my own demise. I used my fingers and thumb to pinch the bridge of my nose and held my breath in an attempt to keep my temper in check before I started shouting at the poor woman.

"Excuse me, sir, but are you alright? Please tell me if there is something I can do to help you." _I will give him anything he desires._

I clenched my teeth and tried to keep my voice low. "I'm fine thank you. I mean no offense, but I would prefer to be left alone for the remainder of the flight." With that said, I tried to demonstrate the seriousness of my words by closing my eyes and leaning my head back against the seat rest.

"Of course, sir. Please don't hesitate to press the call button if you change your mind." _Wow, he really seems upset. I hope I am doing the right thing in leaving him alone right now._

The voices of the other passengers flitted in and out of my head as I desperately tried to ignore them and focus on the quickest way to anger the Volturi when I reached Volterra. I knew that they prided themselves on the safety of their city, so the easiest way to provoke them would be to hunt the general population of Volterra. If I went on a rampage killing humans in the city, they would have to destroy me. On the other hand, I did not want to stoop to that level if it was not necessary. Carlisle's good opinion meant far too much for me to do that if I could find another option. Surely the guard itself would kill me if I attacked them unprovoked, especially if I did it openly during the daylight. Of course, it was possible that some of the guard members' talents would allow them to incapacitate me without destroying me. If I exposed our secret to humans, though, the guard may have to act. The simple act of lifting a car over my head may be sufficient.

I had heard all of Carlisle's thoughts about the brothers Marcus, Aro and Caius who made up the core of the Volturi. All of them were more than 1,000 years old and were ruthlessly devoted to protecting their rule to keep our existence a secret. Although Carlisle knew that the brothers beheld him as something of an oddity because he refused to partake of human blood, he believed that he had left the brothers on good terms. If they still considered Carlisle as a friend, maybe I did not need to do something to provoke them. If I asked, they might be willing to grant my wish to be destroyed without any further questions. That would allow me to protect the rest of my family from their wrath.

For now, that was probably the best solution. I could not face my family, but I certainly did not want to inadvertently cause them any harm. _Oh, Bella, how could you do something so foolish? You were so strong. I left to save you, but it was all for nothing. _

I was the most despicable creature ever to have lived to have disrupted her life so terribly. Only the foulest of hells could await me for allowing someone so beautiful and perfect to die. I felt another burst of rage coming over me and clenched my fists together tightly to keep myself from crushing the armrest of my seat.

I knew that there was only a remote chance that I would ever see my Bella again in the afterlife. Angels like Bella belonged in heaven whereas a soulless monster like myself did not deserve any type of afterlife. Still, that remote chance was far better than anything left for me in the world without Bella, so I would do everything in my power to take that chance. Maybe it was possible that Bella and Carlisle were right that I still had a soul and I would have the chance to see my Bella one last time. I just needed to find the right words to convince the Volturi to let me follow her into death.

My fury changed into despair somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean. For the remainder of the flight, I fixed Bella's face in my mind and tried to relive the eight amazing months I had with her. They were all I had left of her now and I planned to experience every moment one last time. By the time my flight landed in Florence, the being I saw reflected back to me in the other passengers' minds was only a shadow of myself. All I could do was hurry to Volterra and place myself at the mercy of Marcus, Aro and Caius.

I stole one of the first cars I found outside the airport and made my way to Volterra. I focused on the road and my destination. Even the beauty of the Tuscan countryside could not distract me.

By the time I reached Volterra, the sky was already dark. I abandoned my car near the city wall when I found that the streets leading inside had been blocked off in anticipation of increased traffic for the city's celebration of Saint Marcus Day the next day. As I entered the city, I could hear snippets of the story behind the festival in the thoughts of the organizers who set about decorating the central square. The festival was celebrated each year in honor of _Father_ Marcus who martyred himself while driving all vampires away from Volterra around 500 A.D. If I was not visiting under my present circumstances, I might actually have found the festival humorous. What would the organizers think if they found out that their _Father_ Marcus was a vampire himself who still remained in Volterra with others of his kind?

From the images I saw in Carlisle's thoughts when he talked about the time he spent in Volterra, I knew exactly where to locate the Volturi. They occupied a large castle at the center of the city adjacent to the Palazzo dei Priori. I quickly made my way to the front of the castle and entered the modern office building that adjoined the ancient castle. I listened carefully to the thoughts of the building's occupants to ensure that I approached the correct way. I had decided to ask to speak with Aro when I arrived. According to Carlisle, Aro was the most amiable and curious of the brothers. He had a gift similar to mine, except with a single touch he could hear everything that ever had passed through one's mind, not just a person's current thoughts. I hoped that if I showed him the strength of my love for Bella and my current anguish, he might take pity on me.

I approached the front desk and saw an attractive human woman. Although I had not fed in some time, her scent did nothing to tempt me. I could hear in her thoughts that my unnatural appearance did not surprise her. She was fully aware that she worked for a coven of vampires. "Can I help you?" She asked pleasantly.

"I need to speak to Aro. Please tell him that Carlisle Cullen's son is here to see him on an urgent matter." I replied.


	10. Chapter 10 A Simple Request

_Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse or any of the characters found within them. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer who I thank for letting me play with them for awhile. No copyright infringement is intended by this story._

_**Author's Note: This version of Chapter 10 has been slightly enhanced from the version posted on February 24**__**th**___

CHAPTER TEN – A SIMPLE REQUEST

The receptionist looked startled at my request. I could hear in her thoughts that I was the first person – human or vampire – she had ever seen walk through the front door and demand to speak to Aro. She recovered quickly and introduced herself as Gianna. She then told me that she was not certain if "Master Aro" was available to meet with me, but offered to contact him if I could wait. I responded honestly that I had no place else to go. She smiled at me and asked me to wait in the seating area around the corner from her desk.

The seating area Gianna mentioned contained a couple of leather sofas and chairs around a glass coffee table. It seemed a bit too ordinary for the setting, but I was grateful for the opportunity to rest before my next trial began. As I collapsed onto one of the sofas, it seemed as if the weight of my many years finally had caught up to me. I felt old and alone. I could not think of anything to distract me from my tremendous loss. The image of Bella cold and lifeless in a coffin continued to force itself into my mind. The sensation it caused was overwhelming, causing my entire body to shake in grief and anger. _How could I have done something so asinine as to leave her all alone? I am as responsible for her death as if I pushed her off the cliff myself. _I wished that I could feel the release of crying. That, at least, would give me an outlet for my warring emotions. Instead, I was left with a feeling of emptiness and an unbearable ache in my chest. The end could not come soon enough.

In the short time I had known Bella, she had become the sole focus of my entire world. Even though I had endured more than one lifetime's experiences in my many years, I had never truly lived until I met her. Every smile and every touch from her was more precious to me than all of the material things I had amassed in my long existence. The knowledge that she was alive and well in Forks had sustained me through our separation during the last few months. Though I was not able to see her or hold her during that time, my thoughts never strayed far from her side. I always thought that despite all of my good intentions to stay away from her, I would see her again someday.

Now that she was gone, I could not bear to remain in a world without her. Eternity held nothing for me without my beautiful Bella. One way or another, I would escape my pathetic existence and follow Bella into death.

I was not sure how much time passed before I heard someone approaching the lobby. When I looked up, I saw two very large vampires entering through a pair of heavy wooden doors at the far end of the reception area. Both wore dark cloaks which almost completely covered their imposing frames. Obviously, these two were part of the Volturi guard. Although both of them could have rivaled Emmett in terms of size and strength, the looks of disdain and utter boredom on their faces and the venomous thoughts coming from their minds indicated that they lacked Emmett's good humor. The slightly larger guard in particular seemed to be annoyed that he had to take time away from his regular duties to deal with me. _Who does this guy think he is demanding to speak to Master Aro? No one is allowed to do that. I think he needs to be taught some manners. He looks pretty scrawny, I'm certain that I could take him if he tries anything funny._

The other guard's thoughts were slightly less insulting. _Wow. Gianna wasn't joking. He looks terrible. I didn't know it was possible for a vampire to look like that. I wonder what could cause him to look so weak and human._ He smiled slightly as they approached me. "I am Demetri and that," he gestured towards the other guard, "is Felix. The Masters have requested that you accompany us to their chambers. Please follow me."

I followed them back through the wooden doors into a large passageway paved with blocks of stone. I glanced around me briefly. The passageway was wide enough to fit both my Volvo and Rosalie's M3 side-by-side. The décor on this side of the wooden doors varied greatly from the modern business style used to decorate the reception area. Here, the floors were littered with brightly-colored woven rugs and the walls were covered with vibrant paintings in elaborate frames and detailed tapestries depicting the Italian countryside. We continued some distance down the passageway before arriving at an elaborately-carved wooden door. Before Demetri could knock, a melodic voice trilled, "Come in."

The room we entered was probably double the size of our living room in the house in Forks. On one side of the room, three throne-like chairs sat on a raised surface. All three chairs were occupied. I immediately recognized the occupants as Aro, Marcus and Caius from their portrait in Carlisle's study and from the memories Carlisle had shared of his time in Volterra. Aro had a wide smile on his face, but his brothers looked less amused at my intrusion. All three of their thoughts were somewhat focused on wondering why I had chosen to visit them alone. Their thoughts did not disturb me. Nothing could. After all, my request was quite simple and within their power. If they did not agree to help me, I would find another way to force their hand.

Aro examined me for a moment and then said, "Welcome, Edward. Please tell us how our dear friend Carlisle likes America. I do hope he is well." _Does he still insist on following his special diet?_

I decided I should probably alert them to my gift before they became angered by it. "Thank you for agreeing to see me Aro, Marcus and Caius." I nodded at each of them as I said their names. "My father and the rest of my family are all well. In answer to your question, Aro, our entire family chooses to follow Carlisle's example and feed only on animals."

"What is this? It seems like you are holding something back from us Edward. How did you know that I was wondering about your diet?" _Is it possible that he can read minds without the nuisance of physical contact?_

"I have the ability to hear the current thoughts passing through anyone's mind. Well, almost anyone." I winced as I thought about Bella's closed mind.

"How wonderful!" Aro said. "We must be careful with our thoughts around you." _Can you hear what I am thinking right now?_

I nodded in response.

Aro continued. "Dear Edward, I would so love to hear all about Carlisle and all of his adventures after leaving us, but you mentioned to Gianna that you wished to see me on an urgent matter. Please tell us what we can do for you."

"I no longer wish to continue this immortal life. I have come here to ask for your assistance in ending my existence. Please help me." I pleaded.

"That is an astonishing request indeed." Aro said. "I am curious about why you would want to do something so drastic. What could possibly cause you to wish to die?" _Maybe we can convince him to remain here with us if he does not wish to return to Carlisle._

Before I could answer, Marcus' deep voice responded for me, "Love." _I understand too well the empty feeling caused by the loss of a mate. I can see in his eyes that he too is dead inside._

"Love?" Aro asked. "Is this true Edward?" _That is not what I expected. How could love cause a vampire to wish for death?_

I nodded again in response.

"How curious. Would you allow me to touch your hand, Edward? I have a gift similar to your own and it would help us better understand your request if I could see your thoughts."

I knew that the polite words were merely a formality. If Aro truly wanted to touch me, he would do so whether or not I chose to cooperate. I stepped forward and reached out my hand to Aro. As soon as he laid his hand on mine, I began to see images from my past as they passed through Aro's mind like pages in a photo album. It seemed as if Aro could choose which memories he wanted to see in detail and which he wanted to skip.

Aro swiftly flipped through my scant human memories and my memories of the pain caused when Carlisle changed me. He paused when he saw my memories of Carlisle in the hospital and my awakening as a vampire. _Astonishing._ "Carlisle is a doctor? What control he must have to work in such close proximity to humans and their blood."

"Carlisle is exceptional in many ways." I responded. I could hear that Aro still saw Carlisle's refusal to taste human blood as a weakness.

Aro continued his exploration of my memories and actually giggled out loud when he saw my brief rebellion from Carlisle's way of life. My shoulders tensed as he forced me to relive the dark chapter of my past when I chose to hunt human monsters. _He has tasted human blood. Even then, he chose not to feed from those he considered to be innocent. Quite remarkable. I wonder if we can use his past to convince him to try our way of life._

I found Aro's preoccupation with keeping me in Volterra disturbing given my request for death, but I forced myself to remain quiet.

When he saw my memories of Rosalie, Emmett, Alice and Jasper joining our family, Aro's thoughts became rather agitated. _So many? I had no idea there was another coven of such a size._ Out loud he said, "Carlisle has convinced six others to join him in his unusual way of life? Amazing."

Aro spent a long time examining my memories of Alice's visions. "Your 'sister' Alice can see the future? What a wonderful talent. How very useful that must be for your family." _How did she come to have such a magnificent talent?_

"Yes," I responded, "Alice is able to predict the weather and other useful information to help us live safely amongst the humans." I purposefully tried not to dwell on Alice's more profound visions or on Jasper's talent so Aro would move on.

Aro moved rather quickly through my memories of my family life before I met Bella. When he reached the day that I first met Bella, I cringed. It pained me to see the monster within me reflected back to me through Bella's eyes during our first biology class. When he saw the way her scent slammed into me, Aro murmured, "La tua cantate. How could he resist the call?"

He focused on the silence in my mind whenever Bella was near me. "You cannot hear her mind, Edward? How often has that happened to you?"

"She is the only person I ever have encountered whose mind was closed to me." I answered.

_Marvelous. His singer is the only exception to his formidable gift. Could she be immune to other gifts as well?_

Aro slowed down considerably as he watched Bella and I become closer in my memories. When Aro realized the full extent of my love for Bella, he gasped audibly. "She's human? Your mate is human? This is unprecedented." _How could he fall in love with a human?_

As I relived our first day in the meadow and our first kiss, I almost could feel Bella's lips on mine and her hands tightening in my hair. Aro seemed to be equally impressed by our first kiss. "I have never seen such control. I cannot fathom how you could be so close to her when her blood sang so strongly to you."

He quickly moved on to our encounter with James. My hand began to shake slightly when Aro delved into my memories of how close Bella came to dying at James' hand in Phoenix. I could almost feel Aro's thirst increase as he experienced the taste of Bella's blood through my mind. He, however, seemed more fixated on James' videotaped account of Alice's past in the asylum than on my feelings of fear and dread over Bella's injuries.

Aro appeared to become bored with my happy memories of kissing and holding Bella and flipped ahead to my memories of Bella's disastrous eighteenth birthday party and the day I left her. As I relived those terrible memories, I felt a wave of rage about to overtake me. It took all of my strength to keep myself from breaking something. My reaction to Bella's fateful birthday party was the catalyst that led me to Italy. If I had reacted differently or listened to Alice when she told me not to leave, maybe Bella would still be alive.

Aro quickly scanned my more recent memories and then stopped. It seemed as if it had taken Aro several hours to go through my memories, but in reality only a small fraction of time had passed.

Marcus and Caius had remained relatively quiet throughout Aro's examination. I listened for their thoughts once Aro released my hand, but neither seemed to have paid much attention to Aro's commentary. Marcus' thoughts were focused on the loss of his mate, while Caius' thoughts were fixated on his next meal. Aro glanced briefly at both of his brothers before turning back to me. "Are you certain that Bella is really dead, Edward?"

"I trust Alice's vision." I responded dully. I did not add that the boy in Charlie's house had confirmed everything and extinguished my last hope.

Aro continued. "And you choose to die because of this human? If you would like to reconsider your decision, Edward, we could help to find you another pretty girl to love. Heidi is quite lovely and unattached. She should return to us shortly. You are quite welcome to stay here with us so you could meet her?"

I could see in Aro's thoughts the image of a Rosalie-clone with long reddish-brown hair. Ugh. After reliving my memories, I was disturbed that he could think that I would ever get over Bella. "I have already chosen my fate, Aro. Bella was my mate and my entire world. There is nothing left for me without her." My anguish began to show through my calm façade. "I just want to bring an end to this painful existence."

"You understand that we need to be certain of your wishes, Edward. Although I have never experienced it myself, of course, I understand that death for a vampire is a rather painful process. Are you certain that you are willing to go through such pain?" Aro asked.

"It could be no worse than the pain I already feel." I responded. I knew in my dead heart that this was true.

"We will see." Aro said with a grim smile on his face. "Felix, please ask Jane to join us."

Felix exited the room and quickly returned with a small child-like woman. Like Demetri and Felix, she wore a long dark cloak with the hood pushed back from her cherubic face. Although her outward appearance was that of a child of nine or ten years old, her burgundy eyes were ancient.

"Ah, here she is. You see, Edward, our Jane has an extraordinary talent. She can make the mind believe it is experiencing excruciating pain without causing any harm to the body. I believe a demonstration of her power is in order before you make a final decision. We would certainly be remiss if we did not completely inform you of all aspects of your request." Aro rubbed his hands together eagerly and smiled at Jane.

"Jane, dear," he continued, "could you please give Edward a small taste of what he could expect to feel if he follows through with his wish to die?"

"Yes, master." She said eagerly in a high-pitched, quiet voice. Her eyes glimmered as she turned her gaze to me.

I suddenly found myself on the floor curled into a ball as the most mind-numbing convulsions racked my body. The pain reminded me of the fire I felt in my veins during my change. I could not think or hear anything other than a series of screams pulsing through my mind. As quickly as it began, the pain stopped. I slowly stood up and blinked to be certain that the pain was gone. Jane seemed to enjoy my discomfort.

"Are you still certain that you want to end your life, Edward?" Aro asked.

I responded without hesitating, "Yes. I have no wish to live without my Bella."

"Very well. My brothers and I need to discuss your extraordinary request in private. You are welcome to explore our fair city or see more of our castle while you await our decision. We will send someone to collect you in a few hours."

As soon as Aro finished speaking, he made a motion to Demetri who began ushering me from the room. As we walked through the stone passageway, Demetri pointed out various features of the castle. I barely paid any attention. My mind was still reeling over the memories of Bella I had just experienced. Every moment I had spent with Bella was a gift. The knowledge that she had been taken away from me so soon overwhelmed my senses.

I had no desire to waste my time wandering through the city of Volterra or the Volturi castle while I waited for Aro, Marcus and Caius to decide my fate. I preferred to curl up in a corner and give in to my despair. Demetri showed me to a smallish chamber and told me that I was welcome to refresh myself and change into any of the clothes in the wardrobe. I thanked him quietly and sank to the floor of the chamber to await the brothers' decision.


	11. Chapter 11 Decisions, Decisions

_Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse or any of the characters found within them. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer who I thank for letting me play with them for awhile. No copyright infringement is intended by this story._

CHAPTER ELEVEN – DECISIONS, DECISIONS

As soon as I heard Demetri close the door to the chamber, I began to run through the details of my first encounter with the Volturi. The meeting had not gone exactly as I had planned. I had hoped, but never truly believed, that Aro would grant my request immediately without asking any questions. After all, why would the mighty Volturi care about one vampire's reason for choosing to end his pathetic existence? I was nothing to them. Unfortunately, I already could tell that Aro was intrigued by me and my gift. It was quite clear from everyone's thoughts that Aro was used to getting whatever he wanted. I only hoped that Aro's expedition through my memories would somehow convince him that I was worthless without Bella. He had forced me to relive some of the most horrifying and exhilarating experiences of my long existence – all of which involved my Bella. Surely, even Aro could see what a huge difference Bella's presence made to me. With her in my arms, I was complete. She made me happier than I ever thought I could be. Without her, I was a hollow shell of a man – empty and broken beyond repair. Even that was an overly generous description of my current condition.

Still, the meeting could have been much worse. At least Aro was willing to consider my request. If he and his brothers chose to deny me, I knew that I still had other options to force them to take action.

I fully realized that my unilateral decision to ask the Volturi for death was incredibly selfish. Still, I had to do it. Now that my angel was gone, I did not want to think or feel any more. Before I met Bella, I thought that it was okay to feel dead inside. But, once she awakened the feelings and senses that I no longer thought I had, the emptiness I now felt without her pained me so much more than it ever had before. Without my Bella, immortality held nothing for me. Certainly, no one could begrudge me the peace of death, could they? After all, I already had lived substantially longer than a natural lifetime.

I wrapped my arms around my knees and tried to hold myself together a little longer. It was worthless to make any contingency plans until the Volturi made their decision. _Oh Bella, why did you leave me all alone? You were the only person who truly mattered to me. How could I have been so foolish? Please forgive me. I never meant to hurt you. I swear that I will join you as soon as I can, my love._

I could not be sure how long I sat like that on the floor of the chamber. It felt like it had only been a few minutes when Demetri knocked on the door to summon me again. But, when he opened the door, I could hear him thinking how odd it was that I had not moved to the bed or one of the chairs during my long wait. When I heard his thoughts, I glanced around the room and saw for the first time a queen-sized bed, two leather armchairs and an ornate carved wooden wardrobe. The room was actually quite spacious. I am certain Demetri would have found it even more surprising to learn that I had not even noticed the bed or chairs before now.

"The Masters would like to speak to you again, Edward. Please follow me." He said quietly as he held the door open for me. He looked me over with kind eyes. _If I didn't hear it from Master Aro, I never would have believed it was possible. How could the death of a human affect someone like this? He looks almost frail._

I nodded to Demetri and jumped quickly to my feet. I wanted him to understand that I was in no way weak or frail, just desperate to get what I wanted. Demetri silently escorted me at a human pace through another stone passageway. Long slit-like windows lined the walls of the passageway. Through them, the black night sky seeped into the castle. I almost felt like it would overtake me. Although I could not hear in Demetri's thoughts what the brothers had decided, the darkness made our journey back to them rather ominous.

I was grateful that Demetri did not feel the need to fill the silence between us. Even his mind was relatively quiet. After several minutes, Demetri led me back to the same carved wooden door of the brothers' study and knocked once before holding the door open for me to enter. This time, it appeared that I would have a much larger audience for my conversation with Aro, Marcus and Caius. The three Volturi brothers still sat in their throne-like chairs in the center of the room, but now they were attended by two or three guards apiece. The new guard members did not wear the same dark cloaks that Demetri, Felix and Jane sported. Instead, it looked like they were trying to blend in by wearing suits and formal dresses. Their minds and their protective stances still gave them away as foot soldiers rather than nobility. Demetri and Felix looked on from either side of the doorway, while Jane smirked at me from her cozy position near Aro's right hand. I could not determine from the brothers' current thoughts what they had decided, but I did not think it boded well for me that the brothers had decided to invite the additional guard members to our 'chat.'

As I approached the center of the room, Caius and Marcus stared at me with dark unfeeling eyes. In contrast, Aro gave me a wide smile and exclaimed, "Edward, how nice to see you again. I trust that you found your room comfortable. I sincerely hope that you had the opportunity to refresh yourself after your long journey."

I forced my mouth into something resembling a small smile. "Yes, Aro. Everyone here has been quite hospitable." I lied. Felix and Jane had been anything but hospitable.

Aro smiled again and resumed. "We are taking your request quite seriously, Edward. But we do have some more questions for you."

I sighed quietly. I knew that I should have anticipated that Aro and his brothers would drag out our discussion. After all, nothing since I first met Bella had gone easily for us. Why would joining her in death be any different? I tried to keep my expression calm. "Of course, Aro. What can I answer for you?"

"How can you be so certain that your Bella is dead? After all, you were not there. Perhaps there has been a mistake."

I shook my head and simply said, "Alice does not make mistakes." Aro could not know how hard I wished that it _could_ all be a misunderstanding. But, after my call to Charlie's house I knew that was not possible. My angel was gone and no amount of wishing could bring her back.

"I see. We also are quite curious why you chose to come all the way to Volterra to request our assistance with your . . . problem. Certainly Carlisle or Emmett and Jasper could have helped you end your life, couldn't they? What is it, Edward, that you believe we can do for you that your family could not?" _Was he afraid to ask them for assistance? They would be much gentler than our guard._

Though I was a bit disconcerted by Aro's casual references to my brothers by name, I knew I had to answer honestly. "I never could have asked my family to do that, Aro. First of all, I am quite certain that my father and brothers would have refused to grant my request. They probably would not let me out of their sight. Even if that were not the case, I could not ask them to kill me. I would not want to cause my family any more sorrow than they will already feel when they learn what I have done." Esme especially would take both Bella's and my death very personally.

"I see. I must say, this puts us in a rather awkward position. We do not want to unnecessarily upset our dear friend Carlisle by killing his son without his knowledge or permission. We also do not want to create a precedent for other vampires to flock to Volterra seeking death." Aro responded.

Although Caius' face remained impassive, he laughed in his head. _As if there are any other foolish creatures in this world who are ridiculous enough to choose to end their existence over love. Especially something as disgusting as the love of a human._

"Does this mean that you are refusing to assist me?" I demanded loudly. I felt a growl rising in my throat and I focused on breathing deeply in an attempt to keep myself from losing my temper. I knew that I would not be able to keep it under control much longer.

"You have so much to offer, Edward." Aro simpered. "Maybe you cannot see it right now, but we would be doing you a disservice to grant your request. You have a wonderful gift, my boy. That gift is something to be treasured, not destroyed. In fact, we believe in you so much that we would like to offer you a place here in Volterra as a member of our guard." Aro smiled widely as he said this. _Imagine the possibilities . . ._

This time, I did not hold back my growl. "Did you even remotely consider my request or have you been playing with me this entire time?" I shouted. "Of all the arrogant, self-indulgent and conceited people I have ever met, you are the worst. I came here thinking you would act honorably. Obviously, I was gravely mistaken."

Several of the guard members began moving closer to me in an attempt to shield their Masters from my rant. Their thoughts loudly reprimanded me. _How dare he speak to the Masters in that tone. This human lover needs to remember his place the next time Master Aro lowers himself to speak to him._

Felix's vile thoughts stood out from those of the other guard members. _I can't wait until Master Aro lets me teach this freak a lesson. Anyone pathetic enough to fall in love with his food doesn't deserve to be in the same room with the rest of us . . ._

I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose in an effort to calm down. I knew that losing my temper more than I already had would not sway the Volturi from their decision. Instead, it could only cause me or my family more trouble.

"Calm yourself, young one." Aro warned. He still had a hint of a smile on his face as if he had anticipated my outburst. _Careful, Edward. You need to show a little more respect. I will not be able to hold my brothers back if you continue to shout at us._

Unlike Aro, Caius did not seem to find any amusement in my temper. His eyes flashed with fury and his thoughts raged at me. _ How dare he address us in such a manner. We should lock him away for such insolence. Only my fond memories of Carlisle and my brother's entertainment are preventing me from ordering the guard to grab him right now. One more display like that and I will personally guarantee that he will not leave our dungeons for fifty years._

After a tense moment, Aro continued. "Please be assured that we have thoroughly considered your request, Edward. We did not come to our decision lightly. We simply do not believe that it would be prudent to grant your request at this time. Perhaps with time you may change your mind. We would like to give you that opportunity to fully consider your options. Even if you do not choose to become a member of our guard, you are still welcome to stay with us in Volterra for as long as you would like." _I am certain that we could find something here to interest you . . ._

He continued. "In the meantime, is there anything else that we can do for you? Heidi will return within the day with a feast for us all, but if you are in need of some nourishment I am certain we could find a snack for you." _Perhaps you would like Gianna. She has almost reached the end of her usefulness . . ._

"No thank you. I would rather not." I replied through clenched teeth. Did he really just try to offer me human blood as a 'snack' after all his talk of respecting Carlisle? I could not wait to leave the castle. My mind began to race with possible scenarios to force the Volturi guard to take action against me. I just needed to control my temper for a few minutes until I could escape. Getting locked in a dungeon would definitely not help me hasten my demise.

"Since you are not able to help me Aro, I will be on my way home." I said. "Thank you again for your hospitality. I can find my own way out of the castle." I nodded my head at each of the three brothers and quickly backed up towards the door. I did not want to chance touching Aro again. I did not want him to see any of my plans.

As I turned to exit the room, I saw Aro beckon Demetri to his side and whisper something to him. I could hear what Aro said through both his and Demetri's thoughts. _Watch him._

Before I could close the door behind me, Aro called after me, "Give Carlisle our best wishes. It was a pleasure to meet you, Edward. Please do not do anything foolish. I would hate for you to be harmed in any way." _We will be watching you, my boy. The guard is quite accustomed to keeping peace in our fair city._

My shoulders tensed as I listened to Aro's warning, but I shrugged it off. I could not afford to hesitate now. I walked quickly through the stone passageways back to the reception area. I was out the front door before Gianna could even rise from her desk to wish me a good day. I only had about one hour until sunrise. By the clear morning sky, I already could tell that it would be a sunny day. I needed to perfect my plans quickly before the Volturi guard could prevent me from carrying them out.

The streets of Volterra were fairly empty at that hour, but I knew they would fill up shortly for the Saint Marcus day festivities. The quickest and easiest way to infuriate the brothers would be to hunt within the city walls, especially on that particular day. What better way for the citizens of Volterra to celebrate the day that their savior _Father_ Marcus supposedly drove all vampires from the city than be getting slaughtered by a vampire? The irony was rather fitting.

My soul was long absent and I already had lost the one person who truly mattered to me, so why not leave the world in a blaze of glory? I almost laughed out loud at my unintentional pun. The Volterra market was already bustling with people. I could hear the shouts of the shopkeepers and patrons from several blocks away. I could start my hunt there and if that was not enough to provoke the guard into killing me, I could continue by hunting the Saint Marcus day revelers in a few short hours. I had deprived myself of human blood for so long that just thinking about it caused my mouth to fill with venom. If I so obviously exposed myself as the monster that I am, I was sure that even Aro would choose to condemn me to death regardless of any desires he had for my gift.

I approached the marketplace and began to assess the quickest way to provoke the Volturi guard into destroying me. The Volterra market took place along the Via dei Sarti and in a small piazza several blocks from the castle. More than two dozen shopkeepers already had set up their carts and tables and were arguing animatedly with passersby over the prices of their wares. The square already reeked with the smells of the different types of foods being sold and the unwashed bodies of the humans trying to complete their shopping before the tourists arrived. I slipped in and out of the crowd estimating the most efficient way to terrorize the marketplace. I decided that I could start at one end and pull the bodies behind the carts. I would have to go quickly. I was not sure how long my conscience would let me continue. I started by stalking an ancient white-haired man whose thoughts indicated that he already had lived a long, happy life, when a small girl with long brown hair caught my attention. She could only have been about four or five years old. She tugged on her mother's hand, pulling her toward a cart with pastries and confections. I could not tear my eyes away from her. When she and her mother approached me, the little girl looked at me shyly through a curtain of her long hair and smiled. I froze when I saw her expressive brown eyes. She reminded me so much of Bella and the shy glances Bella used to give me.

After seeing the little girl, I had to stop. I could not carry out my plan. I was ashamed at my willingness to harm innocent people to accomplish my own selfish desire. Even in my darkest moments, I never had harmed an innocent person. What would Bella think of me if she knew how close I had come to doing something so deplorable? I could not bear the thought that she was somewhere looking down on me and seeing my monstrous nature. I knew then that I needed to come up with a new plan – one that would not cause any harm to anyone other than myself.

I wandered away from the marketplace to find someplace quiet to think. When I reached the empty piazza adjacent to the Palazzo dei Priori, I noticed a couple cloaked individuals watching me from a distance. It appeared that Aro was intent on keeping me under a close watch while I remained in Volterra. I knew that I would have to be careful not to give away my plans in advance.

The large square was draped with blood red cloth in preparation for the Saint Marcus day festivities. At this hour, the square was still deserted, but in just a couple hours I knew it would be filled with tourists and residents all waiting to celebrate the holiday. I stopped to peruse one of the large placards scattered throughout the square announcing the timing of the day's festivities. The celebration was scheduled to begin at 9:00 a.m. and continue throughout the day and into the evening. According to the placard, a reenactment of Father Marcus driving the vampires from the city was scheduled to take place in the square at noon.

I looked up when the bells in the old clock tower of the Palazzo dei Priori began to toll the time. The sound of the bells echoed loudly throughout the empty square. The sun started to peak over the horizon, but it looked like the city walls would keep the square in shadow for a couple more hours. Just then, the perfect solution to my predicament came to me. I remembered telling Bella the first time she saw me sparkling in the sun that I would stop traffic if humans saw me walking down the street in that state. That was all I had to do to anger the Volturi – I could simply step into the sunshine in front of the hordes of tourists celebrating Saint Marcus day. At noon, the square would be full of people waiting to see the reenactment and the pealing of the bells in the clock tower would be loud enough to grab everyone's attention. If I exposed my unnatural nature at that time, even Aro would not be able to justify allowing me to survive.

I noticed a small alley conveniently located next to the clock tower. I could hide there until the appropriate time. With only a few more hours left to me in the world, I planned to spend them reliving my happy memories of Bella. She alone would keep me company until the end. I simply needed to evade the Volturi guard until the opportune moment for my display. One way or another, everything would be decided at noon.


	12. Chapter 12 Not Dead Yet

_Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse or any of the characters found within them. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer who I thank for letting me play with them for awhile. No copyright infringement is intended by this story._

CHAPTER TWELVE – NOT DEAD YET

I walked slowly at a human pace through the narrow streets and alleyways surrounding the square. The sun had already started to climb over the horizon, but the city's high walls and the massive palaces overlooking the Piazza dei Priori shielded most of the square and the adjacent streets from the sun's rays. The shadows provided me with plenty of places to hide from the encroaching sun. As long as I kept out of the direct sun until noon, I hoped that no one would interfere with me. 

At that hour, the streets were still fairly empty, but I knew they would soon fill up with both tourists and natives excited to celebrate the Festival of Saint Marcus. I had to move quickly and carefully if I wanted to determine just how closely Aro planned on watching my movements. If I waited too long, the noisy thoughts of the crowds of humans would overwhelm my mind and make it more difficult for me to isolate the 'voices' of the Volturi guards. For my plan to succeed, I needed to remain free from any suspicion by the brothers or their guards until the last possible moment. That way, when I exposed my unnatural nature to the public the guards would have no choice other than to kill me. If they discovered or even suspected my plan any earlier than that, Aro might order them to capture me instead. I had no desire to spend any time in the Volturi's dungeons. My only wish was to join my angel in death as soon as possible.

I quickly learned that Aro was serious when he said they would be watching me closely. It seemed as if Aro, Marcus and Caius had posted cloaked guards on nearly every street. The humans who already had begun trickling into Volterra for the festival probably would not notice the guards who were experts at hiding themselves in the shadows, but my inhuman eyes spotted them easily. They especially stood close watch over every corner of the Piazza Dei Priori. I could feel their eyes upon me as I walked. My only comfort was that most of the guards' thoughts stayed true to Aro's commands. Their orders were to watch me without interfering unless I did something to expose myself to the humans and it appeared that they planned to heed Aro's orders, even though they were suspicious about my reasons for remaining in Volterra. Despite their suspicions, none of them attempted to approach me.

Unlike his fellow guards, Felix was quite eager to capture and torture me. His devious mind concocted multiple fantasies about various methods of torturing me - all of them were rather unimaginative. Felix pictured me as a weakling because I had fallen in love with a human, so his fantasies focused mainly on draining the blood of various young human girls he saw on the street in front of me. In each of his fantasies, I fell dramatically to my knees screaming 'Nooooo!' while shaking my fists above my head. It looked like he had modeled his fantasies on a movie - one of the many identical action films that Hollywood had released during the last few years. How absurd. If only he knew what lengths I was willing to go to (and very nearly had taken) in the marketplace, he would not think that I could be so easily dissuaded from bringing about my own death. Even with these disturbing fantasies, Felix seemed harmless enough. I was certain that he would not dare to consciously disobey a direct order from Aro.

After listening to as many of the guards' minds as I could locate, I was satisfied with my scouting mission. I would be safe as long as I was careful. As I walked back to the alley adjacent to the Palazzo dei Priori, the bells in the clock tower loudly informed me that it was eight o'clock. The sound caused a small smile to appear on my face. I only had four more hours until I could join Bella. I was confident that I could stay out of sight and avoid the guards' suspicions until then.

The streets became significantly more crowded once the festival started. Parents held tightly onto their children while the children pulled them around the square taking in all of the sights. In one corner, a puppeteer ducked behind his booth and nimbly made brightly colored puppets dance along a tiny stage. In another corner, a muscular man decked out in a blood red tunic and tights demonstrated sword-fighting techniques. Various vendors sold food, intricate masks and other wares along the streets that bordered the square. There must have been other vendors closer to the city gates, because almost everyone who entered the square already had blood red cloth draping them in some manner. The men sported red hats on their heads or red handkerchiefs tied around their necks. The women wore long red scarves loosely around their necks and red ribbons in their hair. The effect was rather stunning, especially combined with the blood red swags hanging from each of the buildings that bordered the square. I retreated to my dark alleyway away from the fast-growing sunlight. I relaxed against the rough brick wall of the Palazzo that formed one side of the alleyway and closed my eyes. There was only one thing that I wanted to experience again before I died – one last kiss from my Bella. Unfortunately, under the circumstances, I had to settle for a memory rather than the real thing. I fixed an image of Bella in my mind and focused on the contours of her beautiful face, the depth of her soulful eyes and the softness of her luscious lips. This Bella was my Bella, not the pale, lifeless specter that had haunted me since the terrible telephone call that confirmed her death. She seemed so real to me that her features felt soft and smooth beneath my fingertips as I reached out my hand to stroke her face and when she leaned forward to kiss me, I almost could feel the heat of her lips on mine. Almost.

The clock tower bells tolled the arrival of ten o'clock. Each time I heard and felt the sound of the bells echo through the alley, I relaxed further into the wall. Every chime signaled that I was one step closer to my goal. My memories of Bella kept me company during my long wait for noon to arrive.

I have read that when a human realizes they are about to die they see their entire life flashing before their eyes. I do not recall my human death well enough to say whether this is true, but I can tell you that as a vampire, I experienced something slightly different. I did not see flashes of my entire life. In fact, the short vision that I experienced never actually happened to me. Nevertheless, in that moment, the experience was more real and important to me than any other. What I experienced can only be described as a beautiful dream – a dream in which my beautiful Bella was alive again. She was dressed in a long white gown, with hints of lace. Her long dark hair was piled loosely on top of her head with soft curls hanging down and curving around her neck. She walked slowly toward me down a long aisle with a radiant smile lighting up her face. Her eyes shone with excitement and love and mirrored the expression I could feel on my own face. When she reached her hands out to mine, I felt a shock of electricity course throughout my entire body and pulled her closely to me. Then, I lifted our entwined fingers to my lips and noticed a diamond ring on her left hand – my mother's ring. It was then that I realized I was dreaming of our wedding day. With every fiber of my being, I wished that my dream could come true. The knowledge that it could never happen caused my dead heart to throb.

Eleven o'clock arrived and the noises coming from the square grew more deafening. Bella's visage still floated before my eyes, waiting quietly with me until the end.

Finally, as the sounds of the excited revelers in the square thundered in my ears, the bells began to toll again. The chime sounded louder this time, as if it knew something important was about to happen. I could almost feel the waves of sound as they crashed into me. It was time.

I crept quickly to the entrance of the alley – just short of the sunbeams streaming into the square. I removed my shirt and dropped it in a small pile onto the stone floor of the alley. I would not need it again and I wanted to show as much of my sparkling skin as was decent. That way no one could doubt their eyes when I emerged from the shadows. I closed my eyes when the deep chime sounded again. The faintest scent of freesia wafted toward me with the soft breeze streaming through the square. The wind sounded as if it was breathlessly calling my name. I smiled as I thought that the voice on the wind sounded like Bella. Her voice relaxed me as I counted down the chimes of the clock tower. With each toll of the bells, the sound of Bella's voice grew louder. I smiled at the sound and whispered back to the voice, "I love you, Bella – forever." With the next chime, I raised my foot and began to step forward into the sun.

As I moved, something soft slammed into me. I instinctively wrapped my arms around it and opened my eyes. It still looked like I was in Volterra, but standing in front of me was an angel. My angel. I could not believe my eyes. Was this heaven? The only way I could see my beautiful Bella again was in heaven, but I never thought I would have the opportunity to experience it. I did not think a monster like me belonged there. There was only one answer. "Amazing," I murmured softly to myself, "Carlisle was right."

Bella spoke to me then, her voice was barely loud enough for my sensitive ears to hear her. "Edward. You've got to get back into the shadows. You have to move!" The sound of Bella saying my name sent chills down my spine. It thrilled me so much to be near her and to hold her again, that the rest of her words did not register in my mind. All that mattered was Bella standing here with me. I just wanted to touch her and make sure that she was real. I brushed my hand along her flushed cheek. She felt so warm and looked so beautiful. Even my perfect memories could not capture her true beauty.

I still could not believe my good fortune. Even in my most hopeful dreams, I did not allow myself to believe that I would have the chance to hold Bella again or spend the afterlife with her. "I can't believe how quick it was. I didn't feel a thing. They're very good." I wondered briefly whether Felix or someone else struck the final blow, but it did not really matter. All that mattered was that Bella was in my arms. I closed my eyes again as I breathed in the fragrance of her skin and kissed her hair. "_Death, that hath sucked the honey of thy breath, hath had no power yet upon thy beauty_." Romeo's description of Juliet seemed especially applicable to my Bella. I looked down at her small form and smiled. "You smell just exactly the same as always," I told her. "So maybe this _is_ hell. I don't care. I'll take it." And I would. An eternity with Bella's powerful, mouthwatering scent was infinitely better than a single moment without her.

She interrupted me. "I'm not dead," she said. "And neither are you! Please Edward, we have to move. They can't be far away." As she said this, she pushed hard on my arms trying to turn me around.

I was confused. What on earth did she mean by we were not dead? Who was the '_they_' she mentioned? "What was that?" I asked her.

She pushed on my arms again. "We're not dead, not yet!" She said with a hint of exasperation in her voice. "But we have to get out of her before the Volturi . . ." her voice trailed off.

The Volturi? Oh no! What had I done? She was alive and my foolishness had dragged her to the worst place in the world for her to be. Her words finally shook me out of my dreamlike state. I suddenly heard Demetri and Felix stepping towards us out of the shadows. _Well, well, what a lovely snack Edward has brought us._ If Felix came anywhere near my love, I could not be held responsible for my actions. I would rip him to shreds.

I lifted Bella and quickly spun her towards the wall of the alley. I crouched down in front of her, lifting my arms to shield her from the monsters in front of us. Now that we were together, I would not allow anyone, either human or vampire, to take her away from me again. 

I forced myself to remain calm for Bella's sake. I did not want to frighten her by losing my temper. "Greetings, gentleman. I don't think I'll be requiring your services today. I would appreciate it very much, however, if you would send my thanks to your masters." I smiled widely at them.

"Shall we take this conversation to a more appropriate venue?" Felix said. His eyes were filled with contempt. _As soon as we enter the castle, I will wipe the grin off this idiot's face._

"I don't believe that will be necessary." I responded coolly. I had to try to keep control of the situation, for Bella's sake. "I know your instructions, Felix. I haven't broken any rules." Since Bella was alive and close, I no longer had any need to break the rules.

Demetri stepped toward me with his hands outstretched in an effort to appear non-threatening. "Felix merely meant to point out the proximity of the sun." Demetri inserted calmly. "Let us seek better cover," he proposed. _If we do not move soon, he will be exposed whether or not he intends it. _

If it meant I could keep Bella safely away from the castle, I would follow them, even though my chest throbbed at the thought of leaving Bella's side for even a moment. I would walk through the fires of hell if it meant she would be okay. "I'll be right behind you," I said. I glanced briefly behind me and gave Bella a small smile. "Bella, why don't you go back to the square and enjoy the festival?" I asked.

"No, bring the girl." Felix said smirking. His thoughts infuriated me. _Maybe Master Aro will let me taste her for bringing the weakling back to him. She smells delicious._

"I don't think so," I replied. I could feel a growl rising in my chest. I shifted my weight forward slightly so I would be ready to spring if either Felix or Demetri attacked.

"No." Bella whimpered quietly from behind me.

I hushed her quietly hoping to keep her calm. I did not want to frighten her any more than I already had with my recklessness. I never wanted her to see this type of vampire again.

_I need to do something before this gets out of hand._ "Felix, not here." Demetri ordered before turning to me. "Aro would simply like to speak with you again, if you have decided not to force our hand after all." _There is no need for us to fight right now_. _Aro says that he just wants to talk._

"Certainly. But the girl goes free." I cautioned. I would not expose Bella to the horrors of the Volturi castle.

"I'm afraid that's not possible." Demetri replied quietly. "We do have rules to obey." _She knows too much and the Master is eager to meet her._

"Then _I'm_ afraid that I'll be unable to accept Aro's invitation, Demetri." I would not expose Bella to Aro, Marcus or Caius or any of the atrocities committed in the castle on a daily basis.

"That's just fine." Felix inserted. _We can take care of it right here. I would be quite happy to do my part to enforce our rules right now. Both of their lives are forfeit._

Demetri sighed. "Aro will be disappointed." _He really wanted us to bring both of them to him alive. For some strange reason, the idea of Edward and this human girl fascinates him._

"I'm sure he'll survive the letdown." I replied. I would destroy them both right now if it would keep Bella safe. No one would take her away from me.

Demetri and Felix exchanged a quick glance and began to inch forward on both of my sides getting ready to pounce on me if I flinched. I could see the rays of the sun creeping into the alley only centimeters away from my bare skin. In only a couple minutes the sun would hit my skin, but I could not move without leaving Bella vulnerable to attack.

_Honey, I'm home._ I turned my head quickly as I heard Alice's voice singing through the darkness behind me. _Hello, brother dear. Could you use some help? I think we need to even the odds._

Alice skipped forward until she reached my right side. She swung her arms forward and smiled broadly at Felix and Demetri. "Let's behave ourselves, shall we?" She scolded. "There are ladies present."

I relaxed slightly and hazarded a small smile at Alice as Demetri and Felix straightened their stances. Felix glared and swore at us through his thoughts.

I then noticed the agitated thoughts of a small family standing just outside the alley and gestured toward them with my eyes so only Alice could see. The wife whispered animatedly to her husband about us while pushing her two little girls behind her. She thought someone had a gun and we were about to start shooting at each other. She pleaded with her husband to go to the police while she moved her little girls to safety. The husband walked over to one of the red-blazered human guards stationed throughout the square to appease her. 

Alice glared at Demetri and Felix and reminded them that we were not alone. Demetri followed Alice's gaze to the little family and the guard member and shook his head at me. "Please, Edward, let's be reasonable," he said.

"Let's," I said. "And we'll leave quietly now, with no one the wiser." I hoped, rather than believed that Demetri would accept my compromise.

"At least let us discuss this more privately," Demetri pleaded as six more human guards joined the family in front of us. The human guards stared wide-eyed at the five of us and gripped their ceremonial staffs tightly. We were quite a sight – Felix and Demetri with their huge forms covered by dark cloaks, me with no shirt and Alice and Bella looking tiny and helpless. It was only a matter of minutes before the guards came rushing into the alley after us. 

"No!" I said forcefully. I would not allow Bella to get any closer to the Volturi than she already was. I was so focused on keeping the situation from escalating, that I did not notice Jane's approach until I heard her high-pitched voice behind me.

"Enough," she exclaimed.

I could see from Alice's thoughts that she recognized Jane from a vision of my first meeting with the Volturi_. I think we should do what she says_. _If we try to fight her, she will use her power on us and Bella will have to face the Volturi alone. I think we will be okay, as long as we stay together._ I nodded my head slightly so only Alice would notice.

"Jane," I sighed, confirming Alice's suspicion. I knew that I could not protect both Alice and Bella from Jane and her formidable power, but I still felt a strong urge to gather Bella into my arms and run away. Unfortunately, the bright Tuscan sun made it impossible for us to escape the alley.

"Follow me," she said without any emotion as she turned and glided toward the back of the alley. Alice immediately turned to follow her and I knew I had no choice but to comply with Jane's directive.

I ignored Felix's smirking face as I wrapped my arm around Bella and began to lead her further into the alley along the path that Jane had chosen.


	13. Chapter 13 Journey Into Darkness

_Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse or any of the characters found within them. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer who I thank for letting me play with them for awhile. No copyright infringement is intended by this story. Please note that the spoken dialogue in this chapter comes from Chapters 20 and 21 of New Moon._

CHAPTER THIRTEEN – JOURNEY INTO DARKNESS

As we started following Jane through the darkened alley, I focused my attention on Bella. Even though we were in real danger from the Volturi – more danger than either Alice or I had ever experienced – my heart soared. My Bella was alive and beside me. It almost seemed like a dream, but given the fact that I could no longer sleep I accepted it as reality. Until the moment she crashed into my arms, I had not fully realized just how vital to my very existence she truly was. Of course I loved her with my whole heart, but I had thought that I could survive just by knowing that she was alive and happy somewhere. Now, I knew that was not enough. If we made it out of Volterra alive and if Bella could bring herself to ever forgive me for leaving her, I would find a way to make my vision of our wedding a reality.

The alleyway grew darker and narrower as we stepped further away from the entrance. My vampire sight allowed me to see as easily as if we were walking in bright daylight, but I was concerned for Bella whose human eyes could only see a couple feet in front of her. I gripped her more tightly to my side, not wanting her to stumble. I longed so badly to gather her in my arms and never let her go, but I was not sure she wanted me to touch her like that again.

Bella tugged on my arm and looked up at me with a confused look. I wished that I could read her mind so I could comfort her properly. She probably had so many questions for me, but I could not risk letting her start her questioning in case it provided Jane with more ammunition against us. I shook my head slightly at her. I hoped she understood that I would answer all of her questions as soon as we were safe. Truthfully, I could not bring myself to frighten Bella any more than she already was by telling her of the horrors that surely awaited us in the castle. In order to break the silence and hopefully keep Bella calm, I decided instead to question Alice about their arrival in Volterra.

"Well, Alice, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised to see you here." I said.

"It was my mistake," she answered in an equally cool tone. "It was my job to set it right." Although on the outside her voice sounded calm, her thoughts were agitated. _I'm so sorry Edward. I never intended any of this to happen. I saw her jump, Edward, but she never resurfaced. I knew that I could not make it in time to save her, but I had to go to Forks to check on her. I thought that at the very least I would be able to help Charlie. That's why I left without talking to you. I needed to be sure and I wanted to tell you in person. I never believed that Rosalie would contact you first._

"What happened?" I asked. Alice's visions, while subjective, never failed so completely. Even if someone changed his or her mind, she usually could see the impact of the changed decision.

"It's a long story," Alice said as she looked towards Bella with a bit of a smirk on her face. "In summary, she did jump off a cliff, but she wasn't trying to kill herself. Bella's all about the extreme sports these days." _She was trying to go cliff diving like the Quileutes. She dove off the cliff, but didn't realize a huge storm was coming. Lucky for her, her new 'best friend,' Jacob Black, saw her and pulled her out of the water. He's a werewolf and somehow his involvement interfered with my vision. It seems that after we left, our Bella couldn't help herself from becoming acquainted with the next closest group of monsters in the area. Apparently, she has become rather friendly with the new werewolf pack in La Push. Oh, Edward. I won't say I told you so, but you cannot believe the harm we caused by leaving her. Charlie told me that she was nearly catatonic for over a week after you left. And then, she lost the will to do anything. Charlie described her as the 'living dead.' She screamed for you in her sleep every night and barely spoke or ate. Look at her, Edward. She is so thin and tired. Then, if that wasn't enough, Laurent and Victoria came after her. Apparently, the werewolves saved her from Laurent and have been protecting her from Victoria. She had to resort to hanging around young werewolves to stay safe, Edward. Werewolves! _

Extreme sports? Victoria? Werewolves? I was furious. Not with Bella, but with myself for leaving her alone to risk her life like that. I knew that Bella had never been concerned with her own well-being, but this trumped her usual risk taking. She had promised me she would be careful. What was she thinking? What was I thinking, leaving her all alone to face everything by herself? Instead of protecting Bella by leaving, all I had done was leave her completely vulnerable. And now, once again, I have placed her in even more danger. Volterra was the last place I ever wanted Bella to visit, but here she was because of me. I should have called Alice directly instead of listening to Rose and some boy. That boy – was that Jacob Black? Did his presence in Bella's house mean that she _had _moved on? I would not blame her if she had, but this time I could not let her go without a fight. If she could bring herself to forgive me for the horrible lies I told her in the forest, I would never leave her side again.

By the increased potency of her scent, I could tell that Bella blushed at Alice's description. I wondered what else could have happened while I was gone beyond what Alice told me. Bella tensed her shoulders waiting for my response, but I was at a complete loss for words. More than that, I was not sure that I could manage to say anything without sounding hysterical. I had so many questions for both Bella and Alice, but I did not dare ask them in front of Jane, Felix and Demetri. All I could manage in response to Alice's explanation was a terse, "Hm."

As we curved through the alley toward the ancient red brick wall that formed its end, I watched Jane push aside a grate that looked like an ordinary sewer cover and slip lithely through the drainage hole beneath it. It was a hidden pathway into the castle. I now understood how the members of the guard were able to follow me so easily that morning. Alice quickly followed Jane through the hole and directed me through her thoughts to lower Bella down to her.

Once she saw the drainage hole, Bella pushed against me and started to backpedal in fear. If she only knew how much I wanted to grab onto her and run as fast and as far away from here as I could. But I knew that would not work. Jane would incapacitate me before I could make it to the mouth of the alley. And I could not leave Alice alone with the three guards – I would never forgive myself if I caused either Bella or Alice any harm. Instead of running, all I could do was try to keep Bella calm.

"It's all right, Bella," I said quietly trying to soothe her. "Alice will catch you."

Felix, as always, taunted me through his thoughts. _Oh great, she's frightened. How much longer is this going to take? I'm hungry. It's bad enough that we had to baby-sit the suicidal freak all morning, now we have to let the human determine our pace back into the castle? _For Bella's sake, I fought the urge to react.

I helped Bella step to the edge of the hole. Her entire body trembled and her heartbeat raced as she whispered Alice's name. Alice reassured her that she was directly beneath her as I slowly lowered Bella into the hole. Once she was close to Alice's arms, I quietly asked Alice if she was ready for Bella. _Don't worry, Edward. I will catch her and then, as soon as you jump down here, you won't have to let go of her again._

"Drop her," Alice answered out loud for Bella's benefit. I could feel the tension in Bella's body as I released her and watched her float safely into Alice's waiting arms. She must have been holding her breath because as soon as Alice caught her, she exhaled loudly.

As soon as Alice moved Bella out of the way, I leapt into the hole and pulled Bella back into my body. She wrapped her arms around me as I started her moving forward again. I could feel her heart pounding in fear against my chest as I let her determine our pace. It was a little awkward walking while holding each other in such a way. I could feel and hear Bella's feet stumbling and tripping over the ancient stones along our path, but I could not bring myself to loosen my grip upon her. Felix mumbled behind us about our slow speed, but I did not even bother to respond. I was in no hurry to expose Bella to the Volturi. We could take as long as she wanted to reach our final destination.

The different emotions I felt in that moment were staggering. Jasper was quite lucky that he did not have to experience them. I was elated that Bella was alive and close. I was furious with myself for putting Bella and Alice in danger and I was frightened about how the brothers, especially Caius, would react when they saw Bella. At the same time, even though I could not be certain that she still felt the same way about me, I had never loved Bella more. I could not keep myself from caressing her face and breathing in the scent of her skin and her hair – freesia and strawberries. It was heavenly.

My rational mind told me I should focus on developing a plan to keep us alive, but my silent heart urged me to focus only on my love for Bella. My heart won out. I lightly traced my fingers across her face, touching each of her features. As I ran my thumb over her luscious lips, I ached to lean down and kiss them, but I knew that was not possible in the present company or circumstances. I was not even sure yet whether she would let me kiss her. I settled for kissing the top of her head – and I did it as often as I could. She pulled herself closer to me in response. I hoped that my touch would make her feel safe. I did not want her to worry about what would happen next. I was worried enough for the both of us.

We continued walking through the drain for another fifteen minutes before we finally reached a dark stone tunnel that I knew would lead us into the castle. The large square stones lining the tunnel matched those of the castle's interior passageways. I reluctantly released Bella, holding only her hand, when she began trembling from the cold and dampness in the tunnel. I silently cursed myself for not noticing how cold she was. In my selfish need to keep her close to me, I had not taken into account how my icy body would interact with her wet clothing.

"N-n-no!" she stuttered and wrapped her arms around my torso.

I knew how she felt. I was afraid that if I let her go, she would disappear. I pulled her close and tried rubbing my hands quickly against her arms to help increase her body temperature through friction. Alice was right. Bella felt so thin and frail. She seemed even more breakable now than she had several months ago. If we returned home – when we returned home, I corrected myself – I would do everything I could to make sure she ate well and slept soundly. Even if she rightfully refused to forgive me, I would watch over her.

Felix sighed loudly behind us at our slow progress. _Is she slowing down again? If she doesn't start walking faster soon, I will drag her into the castle by her hair. Edward can just try to stop me._ I could feel a growl building in my throat, but I pushed it back down. I did not want Bella to notice Felix's impatience. I was determined to move no faster than Bella wanted to move. The brothers and everyone else could wait.

_We're here, _Alice sang ominously in her head. I heard the click of a key in a lock and the whoosh of a well-oiled gate opening. As we reached the gate, I ducked my head and ushered Bella into a brightly lit anteroom. I grinned slightly as Felix and Demetri had to turn sideways to fit through the low doorway. As soon as we were all inside the anteroom and the gate had been re-locked, Jane opened the heavy oak door leading into the castle. I clenched my jaw at her mocking thoughts as I re-entered the castle. _Master Aro will be so pleased with me. I knew that I would be the one to bring him back. Even Edward is smart enough to realize that he is no match for me. Maybe the Master will let me hurt him again – the look of surprise on his face last time was so pleasing . . ._

We entered a nondescript hallway with bright florescent lights and grey industrial carpeting. Rather than the entry to an ancient castle, it looked more like the hallway of a cheap doctor's office. At least it was warmer in here for Bella. I glared at Jane as she floated down the hallway to an elevator, but she was either oblivious or did not care. On a happier note, Bella seemed a bit more at ease now that we were out of the dark and back into some semblance of civilization.

I, on the other hand, became more agitated the further we traveled into the castle. I could not help my growing sense of unease at placing Bella in such close proximity to the Volturi. I used my eyes to signal to Alice that she should move to Bella's other side. I wanted to make sure that we flanked her so we could fully protect her in case anything happened. I was not sure who we would meet as we made our way further into the castle.

Once we entered the elevator, Jane, Felix and Demetri relaxed demonstrably and loosened their dark cloaks. I noticed Bella studying each of their faces in turn, but I did not remove my eyes from Jane. The other two were of no concern to me. Only Jane posed a true threat. And I wanted to make sure I was ready in case she decided to attack.

The elevator ride was rather short – only two floors. When the doors opened, I found myself back in the reception area. In the few hours I had been gone, several large crystal vases of brightly-colored lilies and other exotic blooms had been added to every surface. The smell was a bit overwhelming. I gathered from the guards' thoughts that the flowers had something to do with Heidi's 'fishing' expedition for new victims to feed the Volturi and their guards. The sooner I could get Bella out of this castle, the better. I did not want her to be here when Heidi returned with her 'tour group.'

Gianna greeted Jane reverently as she walked past the reception desk and giggled as Felix winked at her. She thought that Felix might desire her as a mate if the Volturi ever decided to make her a vampire. I wished I could tell her that his thoughts were a bit less long-term. He just thought she would make a great plaything and meal.

We continued to follow Jane as she passed through the heavy wooden doors at the far end of the reception area into the walls of the stone castle. On the other side of the doors waited a small dark-haired boy dressed in an impeccably tailored grey wool suit – Jane's brother, Alec. We had to stop and watch as the two of them embraced and kissed each other in the European tradition before Alec paid any attention to us.

"They send you out for one and you come back with two . . . and a half," he laughed as he looked Bella up and down. "Nice work," he drawled to Jane as she laughed heartily.

_Easy, Edward_. Alice warned. I held tightly to Bella and froze my expression into one of indifference.

"Welcome back, Edward. You seem in a better mood." Alec said. _Look at the way he and the human cling to each other. Simply amazing._

"Marginally," I responded coldly.

Alec continued his examination of Bella. "And this is the cause of all the trouble?" He asked me. _What is so important about this human – she looks quite ordinary. Certainly, she is nothing special._

I twisted my mouth into a forced smile in response. Then I heard Felix's disgusting thoughts a moment before he verbalized them.

"Dibs," he said loudly from behind us. _Even though she looks rather puny, she smells very sweet. I want to make him watch me drain her._

I could not prevent the snarl that built up in my chest as Felix gestured for me to try to attack him.

I leaned forward ready to take a step toward him, when Alice grabbed my arm. "Patience," she warned me. _Don't take the bait, Edward. If you attack him here, you may get Bella killed. We have to stay calm and give Aro the chance to see Bella. She will fascinate him. It might be enough to convince him to let us go. But, you have to control your temper. If you lose it, you will put us all in danger._

I took a deep breath and turned my attention back to Alec.

"Aro will be so pleased to see you again." Alec continued. _He has been so anxious for news of Edward's whereabouts all morning. I am quite happy that I won't have to continue playing the job of messenger now. I still cannot believe that someone so odd and weak could cause such an upheaval in our way of life._

"Let's not keep him waiting," Jane added. _ I can't wait for the Master to learn that I am the one who brought them back. He will definitely reward me for my loyalty and skill._

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at their childish thoughts and nodded my assent. The two of them led us down the long hallway, holding each other's hands like the small children they both resembled. Instead of passing through the ornate doors at the end of the hallway, however, they paused at one of the tapestries about halfway through the hall. Alec pushed the tapestry aside and slid a portion of the wall out of the way to reveal an ancient wooden door. _The feeding room_, I heard in Jane's thoughts. The thoughts of a significant number of guard members and Aro hit me as Alec opened the door for Jane.

My mind lurched as I pondered the possibilities that waited for us in this room, but Alice's whispered encouragement and the knowledge that we had no choice other than to follow Jane propelled me forward. _Here we go_, I thought.


	14. Author's Note

Author's Note: I am sorry that this update is just an author's note, but I hope to replace this note with a new chapter sometime during the next two weeks

**Author's Note: I am sorry that this update is just an author's note, but I hope to replace this note with a new chapter sometime during the next two weeks. I sincerely apologize for not posting a new chapter of Darkest Night during the last seven weeks and hope that you will understand my reasons. I delayed posting this author's note because I personally dislike receiving a new chapter alert only to be disappointed that when I click on it I find an author's note instead of a new chapter. But, given the unflattering reviews I received because of my tardiness, I decided it was better to provide you with an explanation right now. A member of my immediate family became acutely ill and passed away a few weeks ago. In dealing with this illness, the funeral arrangements and everything else that surrounds a death in the family, I have not had any time to write. I do not plan to leave this story unfinished, however, it may take me longer than usual to post new chapters. I hope that you all will bear with me. I will try my best not to make you wait much longer and I thank you all for being patient. If you would rather I just delete the story, as has been suggested, please let me know. **


	15. Chapter 15 Chapter 14 Into the Abyss

_Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse or any of the characters found within them. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer who I thank for letting me play with them for awhile. No copyright infringement is intended by this story. Please note that the spoken dialogue in this chapter comes from Chapter 21 of New Moon._

**Author's Note: Thank you all for your patience. I am sorry it has taken me so long to update this story. As I mentioned in my last author's note, a family tragedy has taken a lot of my time and energy. I think life is slowly getting back to normal. I hope to have the opportunity to spend some more time writing in the near future, however I probably will not be able to update as quickly as I have in the past.**

CHAPTER FOURTEEN – INTO THE ABYSS

I half-pushed, half-pulled Bella through the door into a dark stone antechamber. I did my best to keep her pressed as closely to my side as physically possible without injuring her. I had an overwhelming desire to scoop Bella into my arms and run away with her, but I knew we would not get far. Even if we could outrun the rest of the Volturi guard, I had heard enough of Demetri's mind on our walk into the castle to learn that he was a very talented tracker -- infinitely more skilled than James. There was no way we could elude him long enough to escape from Italy. Besides, after everything she had done for us, I could never leave Alice behind.

As we took our first steps into the room beyond the antechamber, I moved slightly to the side and in front of Bella to ensure that I could shield her with my body at the first indication of any trouble. Alice duplicated my movements closely behind us, completing the protective cage around Bella and effectively ensuring that Felix and Demetri remained several feet away. The room we entered was one of the castle's massive stone turrets. Our steps echoed off of the chamber's 20-foot high ceilings. Similar to the brothers' study, this room held three throne-like chairs on the western wall and ancient tapestries on the wall. Unlike the study, however, this room was packed tight with Volturi guard members and other residents of the castle. In addition, I noticed a large drain placed ominously in the center of the room, the purpose of which was painfully obvious by the central thought of the room's occupants – hunger.

As we walked through the doorway, the room's occupants collectively raised their heads as they caught Bella's scent. I unconsciously found myself pulling her more tightly against me as I caught their thoughts, a growl forming in my chest. Luckily, Alice sensed my uneasiness before I could act upon it. _Cool it, Edward. We can't take on the entire room. _

"Jane, dear one, you've returned!" Aro exclaimed proudly as he floated across the room to our little group. _I can always count on my Jane to succeed. Edward, you have been rather naughty._

"Yes, Master. I brought him back alive, just as you wished." Jane said with a smug smile on her face. I desperately wished I could do something to wipe the smug smile off of Jane's face.

"Ah, Jane. You are such a comfort to me." Aro said, kissing her forehead like a proud father.

"And Alice and Bella, too!" Aro said, clapping his hands like . . . "This _is_ a happy surprise! Wonderful!" _Perhaps I will have the chance to witness Alice's talent first hand._

How could I have been so reckless and inconsiderate as to expose not only myself, but also Bella and Alice to Aro's scrutiny? I truly deserved whatever punishment Aro chose to inflict upon me for being such a selfish fool. The only reason Bella and Alice were in this terrible place was because of me. Whatever happened, I had to do everything in my power to ensure their safety.

"Felix, be a dear and tell my brothers about our company. I'm sure they wouldn't want to miss this." _I am quite interested to see Marcus' reaction, especially, to Edward's lovely little human. Perhaps he will be able to determine the hold she has on him._

"Yes, Master." Felix smirked at me as he left the room. _Master Caius will certainly let me have the human as a reward for bringing the freak back to him._

"You see, Edward? What did I tell you? Aren't you glad that I didn't give you what you wanted yesterday?" _Your dear Bella came all this way to find you. I cannot wait to see into her mind._

"Yes, Aro, I am." I said as I tightened my grip on Bella. The last thing I wanted for her was to get any closer to Aro than she already was. Although I was curious to see if he could penetrate her mind, I did not want her privacy to be invaded by a nosy, conniving being like Aro.

"I love a happy ending. They are so rare. But I want the whole story. How did this happen? Alice? Your brother seemed to think you infallible, but apparently there was some mistake." _Is there some problem with her power that Edward did not disclose to me?_

"Oh, I'm far from infallible." Alice smiled. "As you can see today, I cause problems as often as I cure them." _Please stay calm Edward. He hasn't made up his mind about us yet. Maybe we can persuade him that our talents are not that useful. Then, we will be able to go home and never come back here again._

"You're too modest. I've seen some of your more amazing exploits, and I must admit I've never observed anything like your talent. Wonderful!" _Imagine what we could do if we had a seer like Alice on our side._

Alice glared at me. _Edward, what did you tell him about us? How could he possibly see my __**amazing**__ exploits? What the hell is he talking about?_

"I'm sorry, we haven't been introduced properly at all, have we? It's just that I feel like I know you already, and I tend to get ahead of myself. Your brother introduced us yesterday, in a peculiar way. You see, I share some of your brother's talent, only I am limited in a way that he is not." Aro shook his head. _How wonderful it would be to hear and see from afar._

"And also exponentially more powerful," I added mostly for Alice's benefit. I hoped that Aro would have the same difficulty reading Bella's thoughts that I did, but I did not want either Alice or Bella to underestimate him. "Aro needs physical contact to hear your thoughts, but he hears much more than I do. You know I can only hear what's passing through your head in the moment. Aro hears every thought your mind has ever had." I explained.

_He hears everything? Does that mean he saw all of our family? Jasper too? _ I tilted my head just slightly to tell Alice that was true.

_They can converse without touching? How useful that would be. _ "But to be able to hear from a distance . . . that would be so _convenient_." Aro said.

Without turning around, I knew that Marcus and Caius had entered the room with Felix following closely behind. Marcus appeared to be uninterested in my return, but Caius was furious that I was still alive. His thoughts and vision focused on Bella as soon as he caught her scent.

"Marcus, Caius, look! Bella is alive after all, and Alice is here with her! Isn't that wonderful?" Aro seemed oblivious to Caius' fury.

"Let us have the story." Aro commanded. Caius sat down in one of the thrones along the back wall and glared at us. Marcus briefly touched Aro's hand as he passed. I could see and hear Marcus' assessment of our relationship. _Aro, I have never seen such a bond among our kind, let alone between a human and a vampire. Edward and his mate's bond is completely unbreakable – even by death._

Aro's thoughts shouted at me. _How can this be? No human could possibly feel so strongly. Could it be witchcraft? She certainly doesn't look like a witch – just a frightened little girl. Maybe that's why Edward is so attracted to her. Maybe his penchant is for children. Still, that does not explain the strength of their bond. _

I could not help myself from snorting at the ridiculous thoughts passing through Aro's head. Alice looked at me like I had truly lost it. _What is so funny?_ She demanded. _I have never seen you lose your cool like that – at least, without breaking things._

"Thank you, Marcus. That's quite interesting." Aro paused while he sifted through his thoughts.

"Amazing, absolutely amazing!" Aro finally exclaimed, shaking his head in disbelief.

Alice glared at me again. _What is it?_

I quietly explained. "Marcus sees relationships. He's surprised by the intensity of ours."

"So convenient." Aro repeated. "It takes quite a bit to surprise Marcus, I can assure you."

Bella looked towards Marcus scrunching her nose a little as she scrutinized him. I wished I could reassure her that he wished her no harm. But the loss of Marcus' mate centuries ago had left him a bitter man. From his thoughts, he did not appear to take an interest in anything. Instead, he let his brothers make all of the decisions in Volterra. Even though he may be more sympathetic than his brothers, I knew we could never trust him to care enough about us to intercede on our behalf.

_What a lovely scent she has. _"It's just so difficult to understand, even now." Aro mumbled quietly. "How can you stand so close to her like that?" _It goes against our nature not to be tempted by such a scent. Especially the way her blood sings to you like a siren's song._

"It's not without effort." I said, smiling. Actually, I was so ecstatic that she was alive, it truly did not take any effort on my part to withstand the lure of Bella's blood even though I could not remember the last time I had hunted. It was as if after all of the pain I had caused her, my entire being now shied away from inflicting any further harm upon her.

"But still – la tua cantata! What a waste!" _How could he throw away such a gift?_

A waste? I laughed quietly at his ignorance. "I look at it more as a price." I informed him. Truly a small price in comparison to the price Bella paid every day she was near me.

"A very high price." Aro said.

"Opportunity cost." I suggested. I wondered if Aro could even contemplate how easy the choice was for me – the only things I wanted in the world were Bella's love and safety. Everything else was a distant second.

Aro laughed at my joke. "If I hadn't smelled her through your memories, I wouldn't have believed the call of anyone's blood could be so strong. I've never felt anything like it myself. Most of us would trade much for such a gift, and yet you . . ."

"Waste it." I finished using Aro's own words against him. I did not like the way Aro was focused on the lure of Bella's blood. I knew I needed to find a way to change the subject.

Aro laughed again. _Touché, young one._ "Ah, how I miss my friend Carlisle! You remind me of him – only he was not so angry." _As hard as I tried to find something that would perturb him, it never seemed possible for dear Carlisle to become angry. He is truly the calmest soul I have ever met._

"Carlisle outshines me in many other ways as well." I said. I added to myself, Carlisle never would have acted so recklessly as to put two of his loved ones in as much danger as I have done. I knew I could never live up to Carlisle's example, but if Bella would still have me, I would continue to try.

"I certainly never thought to see Carlisle bested for self-control of all things, but you put him to shame."

"Hardly." I was starting to get impatient – what was he waiting for? I wished he would stop playing with us and just get to the point of this forced visit.

_Be patient, Edward_. Alice reminded me. _He will get to his point soon. If you lose your temper, this will not end well._

"I am gratified by his success," Aro said. "Your memories of him are quite a gift for me, though they astonish me exceedingly. I am surprised by how it . . ." _What is the right word?_ "p_leases_ me, his success in this unorthodox path he's chosen. I expected that he would waste, weaken with time. I'd scoffed at his plan to find others who would share his peculiar vision. Yet, somehow, I'm happy to be wrong."

Caius had largely stayed out of our discussion, allowing Aro to satisfy his curiosity. As Aro began talking about Carlisle, though, Caius tensed slightly. _What about the size of Carlisle's family – surely, we cannot allow such a large coven to oppose us. Especially with talents like Edward's and Alice's at Carlisle's disposal._

"But _your_ restraint," Aro continued, drawing my attention back to him. "I did not know such strength was possible. To inure yourself against such a siren call, not just once but again and again – if I had not felt it myself, I would not have believed."

I froze, knowing just where he was going with this . . .

"Just remembering how she appeals to you . . ." Aro chuckled ominously. "It makes me thirsty."

I tensed my shoulders and shifted Bella slightly further behind me. I tried to will myself to remain calm, but I could feel the anger coursing through me. I clamped down my jaw like a vise so I did not show my anger outwardly. Unfortunately, Aro saw right through my façade.

"Don't be disturbed," Aro said trying to soothe me. "I mean her no harm. But I am _so_ curious, about one thing in particular." _Even though you have failed, Edward, perhaps I can succeed in hearing her thoughts?_ He looked at Bella, his eyes nearly glowing in excitement. "May I?" he asked me, lifting his hand to touch Bella.

"Ask _her_." I choked out before clenching my teeth again. I did not want him to come any closer to her than he already was. How could I have exposed her to such a horror? Touch the creepy, ancient vampire or die a horrible death? What a choice. I would not blame her for never forgiving me. I certainly could never forgive myself.

"Of course, how rude of me. Bella, I'm fascinated that you are the one exception to Edward's impressive talent." He murmured quietly, "It is so very interesting that such a thing should occur." He continued in a slightly louder than normal voice, as if she were slightly deaf, instead of human. "I was wondering, since our talents are similar in many ways, if you would be so kind as to allow me to try – to see if you are an exception for _me_, as well?"

Bella tightened her grip on my waist and looked up at me. Her eyes seemed frozen and I could sense her fear. I nodded at her to signal that it was okay. I would not allow him to harm her.

She reached her hand out to Aro, trembling slightly as he approached her. He smiled down at her. _ I am certain that I will be able to penetrate her mind. After all, she is only human._

Aro's mind was completely blank as he focused on hearing Bella's thoughts. Several minutes passed as he concentrated, but still I heard nothing. His face fell as he lost his struggle to force his will upon her. Inside, I smiled triumphantly, but did my best to keep my face composed.

"So very interesting," he murmured, drifting back to his original place in the center of the room.

Aro's eyes flickered to each of our faces, trying to read our expressions. I purposefully kept my face completely blank, but inside I was ecstatic. Perhaps Bella's anomaly will help us escape Volterra. He shook his head. "A first," he said quietly, more to himself than anyone else in the room. _Perhaps her mind is only safe from mind reading._ "I wonder if she is immune to our other talents . . . Jane, dear?"

"No!" I shouted, pushing my way forward. Alice tried to grab me, but I shrugged her off. _She will be okay, Edward. You cannot lose your temper. Our lives depend on it. I promise you that Jane cannot harm Bella, please just wait . . . _I ignored Alice's warning and pulled Bella tightly back into my arms. Despite Alice's assurances, I would not allow Jane anywhere near Bella.

Jane moved quickly to Aro's side and smiled adoringly at him. "Yes, Master?" _I hope he lets me have the human. I am certain I can break it and through it, Edward. How wonderful it will be for them both to writhe in pain at my feet. Master Aro will be even more pleased with me, then._

My growls tore loudly from my throat. The thoughts of the guard members in the room swirled loudly through my mind. If I had not been so focused on protecting Bella, I would have tried to analyze their reactions. As it was, I could not focus on their voices. The only thought that floated through my mind was to save Bella from any more pain.

"I was wondering, my dear one, if Bella is immune to _you_." Aro said with a smile. _Let's see how special this human truly is._

I quickly shoved Bella behind my back and sprang forward before Jane could turn toward us. As I launched myself at Jane, Alice screamed at me. "Edward, stop!"

In the next moment I found myself on the ground, convulsing. My mind went blank as shocks of pain coursed through my body. I was only slightly aware of the world around me. It was as if I were trapped underwater, with no idea which direction was up. The only sound I could hear through the fog was the sound of Bella's screams swirling through the darkness.

As suddenly as it began, the pain stopped. I sat up quickly and looked around to find Bella. Alice had both of her arms wrapped around her as Bella struggled to break free and run toward me. I then noticed Jane's gaze focused on her. I jumped to my feet, even though my body felt weak from Jane's torture. I had to protect Bella. Jane's frustrated scream suddenly echoed loudly in my mind. _This . . . is . . . impossible. I . . . have . . . to . . . try . . . harder._ She grunted. _No one can escape me._ I quickly glanced back and forth between them, realizing that Jane could not touch Bella. The relief I felt was amazing. If asked, I could have walked on air.

I sprang quickly to Bella's side and touched Alice's arm to let her know that I wanted Bella back in my arms.

_Astounding. Her mind is even closed to our dear little Jane. What an amazing human. _Aro laughed loudly at the spectacle before him. "This is wonderful," he said smiling widely as Jane hissed in anger.

"Don't be put out, dear one," Aro said as he touched Jane's shoulder lightly. "She confounds us all."

Jane continued to glare at Bella. _This is not possible. No one is immune to me, not even the Master._

Aro looked at me and started laughing again. "You're very brave, Edward, to endure in silence. I asked Jane to do that to me once – just out of curiosity . . ." His voice trailed off as his thoughts lingered on the pain Jane was capable of causing. Little did he know, Jane had taken it easy on him.

"So what do we do with you now?" Aro said, sighing quietly. _I do not want to harm your little human, Edward. But, this is not an easy choice. We cannot let you go without some sort of punishment or at least some benefit to us. Caius will not agree to anything less._

Alice and I simultaneously stiffened and Bella started shaking when we heard Aro's ominous warning. I could see that he had decided to try to convince us to join him. I flinched as he pictured Alice and I standing beside him in dark cloaks. I stroked Bella's hair to soothe her.

"I don't suppose there's any chance that you've changed your mind?" Aro asked me. "Your talent would be an excellent addition to our little company."

Jane and Felix both groaned audibly. I knew that I was on thin ground with them, as well as with Marcus and Caius. I chose my words carefully. "I'd rather not." I said.

"Alice?" Aro asked turning to my sister. "Would you perhaps be interested in joining us?"

"No, thank you." She replied smiling at Aro. _As if! We cannot leave this place fast enough for my taste, Edward._

"And you, Bella?" Aro asked, turning to my angel.

A hiss escaped my lips before I could stop it. Caius interjected before Bella could answer. "What?" He demanded of Aro. _Has my brother lost his mind? How dare he allow a puny human such a choice._

"Caius, surely you see the potential. I haven't seen a prospective talent so promising since we found Jane and Alec. Can you imagine the possibilities when she is one of us?" Aro asked him.

_No! _Jane's thoughts shouted. _How dare the Master compare this weak and insignificant human to me. I am his favorite and I intend to remain his favorite. No one will ever get in my way._

I started to growl . . .

"No, thank you," Bella said in a loud whisper. Her voice cracked a little as she spoke, but I had never been more proud of her bravery.

Aro sighed. "That's unfortunate. Such a waste." _What a pity. She has the potential to be truly amazing._

"Join or die, is that it?" I demanded. How could I have let this happen? "I suspected as much when we were brought to _this_ room. So much for your laws." I chided, hoping that I could appeal to Aro's sense of justice.

"Of course not. We were already convened here, Edward, awaiting Heidi's return. Not for you." _Really, Edward. The thought had not even crossed our minds. You really must learn to control your temper._

"Aro, the law claims them." Caius sneered. _Their lives are forfeit. We can make an example of them for disclosing our existence to the humans. As a bonus, we can reduce the size of Carlisle's coven._

"How so?" I asked him.

Caius pointed at Bella and said, "She knows too much. You have exposed our secrets."

I smiled. He could not fault us for something we did not do. Besides, the Volturi had plenty of human helpers – how does he explain their involvement? "There are a few humans in on your charade here, as well." I reminded him.

"Yes. But when they are no longer useful to us, they will serve to sustain us." Caius said. "That is not your plan for this one. If she betrays our secrets, are you prepared to destroy her? I think not."

"I wouldn't . . ." Bella started to whisper.

_The human dares to speak out of turn?_ Caius cut her off with a glare before he continued. "Nor do you intend to make her one of us. Therefore, she is a vulnerability. Though it is true, for this, only _her_ life is forfeit. You may leave if you wish." _You were willing to die before when you thought she was dead. Could you possibly bring yourself to leave Volterra without your precious human pet?_

I snarled and bared my teeth at him in response.

"That's what I thought." Caius said smugly. He nodded to Felix to step forward. _Finally_, Felix thought.

"Unless," Aro interrupted. "Unless you do intend to give her immortality?" _Edward, that is the only way we will let you keep your precious Bella and allow her to achieve her true potential. I suggest you accept my offer immediately._

I hesitated – unsure of what he was proposing. "And if I do?" I asked.

Aro smiled. "Why, then you would be free to go home and give my regards to my friend Carlisle. But I'm afraid you would have to mean it." Aro raised his hand to hear my thoughts. _Don't think that you can somehow avoid this, Edward. Demetri is a skilled tracker. Even if you choose to leave Carlisle and flee with your Bella, we will find you both._

I looked at Bella trying to read her expression as to whether she still wanted this. "Mean it," she whispered. "Please." Her eyes filled with tears as she pleaded with me.

My silent heart ached at the thought of Bella losing her beautiful blush, her luscious scent and her musical heartbeat. How could I be so selfish as to impose this non-existence on her? She could do so much better than this life. I wanted to give her the world, but all I had was death to offer her. If I made this promise, for how long could I keep her safe from Aro? I scanned the room seeking Demetri's thoughts. Maybe I could find a weakness or limit to his gift.

_Edward, do not react to me and promise you will not say anything_. _I have a plan to get us out of this, but you will ruin it if you cannot control your temper._ Bella and I both turned her heads to watch Alice as she stepped towards Aro with her hand raised.

Several members of the guard glided towards her to stop her, but Aro waved them off. _This, I want to see_ _for myself._

As he grasped her hand tightly, Aro closed his eyes in concentration. I shut my mouth tightly as I saw Alice show him a vision of her biting Bella and Bella waking up with crimson eyes. She seamlessly switched to one of her older visions of a newborn Bella running hand in hand with me and throwing her head back and laughing as we moved through a forest. She then switched again to a vision of Bella hunting, her crimson eyes glowing as she pounced upon an unsuspecting animal. I cringed inwardly, desperately trying not to react to the visions.

Aro laughed, clapping his hands. "That was _fascinating_!" He exclaimed. _Seeing it for myself was so much better than seeing it through Edward's memory. Alice would make a wonderful member of my guard. What a useful gift._

"I'm glad you enjoyed it." Alice said. _Stay calm Edward. This is going to work._

"To see the things you've seen – especially the ones that haven't happened yet!" Aro said, shaking his head in amazement. _What an amazing power._

"But that will," Alice reminded him for the benefit of his two brothers.

"Yes, yes, it's quite determined. Certainly there's no problem." Aro said. _Bella will soon be one of us. I cannot wait to see what she brings to her new life._

"Aro," Caius called. _How can he even consider letting them go? Carlisle's coven is already far too strong and he plans to allow them to add another gift to their arsenal?_

"Dear Caius, do not fret." Aro said smiling at his brother. "Think of the possibilities! They do not join us today, but we can always hope for the future. Imagine the joy young Alice alone would bring to our little household . . . Besides, I'm so terribly curious to see how Bella turns out."

"Then we are free to go now?" I asked.

"Yes, yes," Aro said waiving his hand towards the door. "But please visit again. It's been absolutely enthralling!" _I haven't had this much fun in such a long time._

"And we will visit you as well, to be sure that you follow through on your side." Caius warned. "Were I you, I would not delay too long. We do not offer second chances." _I will personally instruct the guard to visit and eliminate them if they do not follow through with their promises._

I tensed as I heard Caius' unveiled threat, but nodded my acknowledgement. I could control my temper if it would get us out of this castle and away from Volterra.

Felix groaned. His thoughts complained loudly about his hunger.

"Ah, Felix. Heidi will be here at any moment. Patience." Aro soothed.

I suddenly heard a crowd of voices coming close. Many of them speaking were speaking languages other than Italian. That meant Heidi was almost here. "Hmmm. In that case, perhaps we'd better leave sooner rather than later." I said.

"Yes. That's a good idea. Accidents_ do _happen. Please wait below until after dark, though, if you don't mind." _I will not be able to save you if you expose yourselves in your haste to leave our fair Volterra._

"Of course," I agreed.

Aro motioned Felix to come to his side. "And here," Aro called out. _Please wait one more moment, Edward. _As Felix approached, Aro reached out and unfastened Felix's cloak. He tossed it to me, saying, "Take this. You're a little conspicuous."

I looked down at my bare chest. I had forgotten my state of undress. I put the cloak on, but refused to put the hood up. I would discard this disgusting cloak as soon as we were clear of the castle.

"It suits you." _You could always change your mind and wear such a proud garment every day, Edward._

Hardly. I chuckled quietly. _Hurry, Edward or Bella will witness the frenzy._ The thoughts of the humans flooded my mind. I glanced over my shoulder at Alice, signaling to her that we must leave quickly. I called over my shoulder, "thank you, Aro. We'll wait below."

"Goodbye, young friends." Aro stared at the door as he also heard the humans approaching noisily.

"Let's go," I said, gesturing to Bella and Alice to hurry towards the door.

Demetri beckoned us to follow him. I pulled Bella along as fast as her legs would move.

"Not fast enough." Alice muttered, flanking Bella. _Edward we're too late._

The group of humans already had reached the entrance to the stone antechamber. By the sound of their voices, at least half of them were American tourists. Demetri motioned to me that we should step to the side and allow them to enter the chamber.

"Welcome, guests! Welcome to Volterra!" Aro exclaimed as the humans began filing into the large room. Their thoughts indicated their confusion about the role of the 'little old man.'

I did not want Bella to have to see what was coming next. I had tried so hard to keep her away from the more brutal aspects of our non-lives, yet somehow they kept creeping up on us. I pulled her closely to me, trying to muffle the sound by pulling her face into my chest. As we quickly exited the room, tears began rolling down her face.

I hurried down the hallway before the feast began. I did not want Bella to hear the screams that surely would start shortly. Heidi stood outside in the hallway proudly admiring her handiwork. I recognized her from Aro's thoughts.

"Welcome home, Heidi," Demetri said smiling at her. _She looks particularly fetching today._

Heidi acknowledged Demetri's greeting with a smile, but her thoughts indicated she was not as interested in him as he was in her. Instead, her eyes zoomed back and forth between Bella and me. _Who is this and why is he wearing a cloak? Has Aro been doing some recruiting of his own while I've been out? If so, it looks like the old man has lost his touch. These two reek of humanity. They even cling to the human as if she was . . . family._

"Nice fishing," Demetri said to Heidi as he glanced back at the new _guests_ to Volterra.

"Thanks," she said grinning at him. She started to walk toward the door we had just exited. "Aren't you coming?" She asked when Demetri did not follow her.

"In a minute. Save a few for me." He said.

She nodded and glided into the room, glancing back again at Bella. _Who the hell is she? She wasn't one of mine, was she?_

I jogged toward the reception area as quickly as I could move while dragging Bella with me. I had to get her away before she heard what was happening in the other room. Muffled screams started echoing through the stone hallway as we ran. I was too late.


	16. Chapter 15 Miles to Go

_Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse or any of the characters found within them. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer who I thank for letting me play with them for awhile. No copyright infringement is intended by this story. Please note that a majority of the spoken dialogue in this chapter comes from Chapter 22 of New Moon._

_**Author's Note: I am so sorry for the long delay between postings. Thank you to everyone who has encouraged me to finish this story. I really appreciate your interest in continuing to read Darkest Night.**_

CHAPTER FIFTEEN – MILES TO GO

Demetri walked us all of the way through the heavy wooden doors of the Volturi's reception area. The reception was still empty with the exception of Gianna who smiled broadly at Demetri from her desk as he led us through the double doors. When he turned to leave, Demetri looked directly at me and repeated Aro's warning, "Do not leave until dark." If I was going to get the three of us safely home, I knew I had no choice other than to comply with Aro's command, so I nodded our assent. When Demetri closed the door, I immediately steered Bella towards the farthest corner of the room. Demetri's thoughts had immediately returned to the "feast" taking place on the other side of the reception doors. Given the current focus of his thoughts and those of the castle's other occupants, I wanted Bella as far away from them as physically possible.

As soon as I was certain that Demetri could no longer hear us, I asked Bella if she was alright. Once the words left my mouth, I realized how stupid they must sound. Of course she was not alright. She had just witnessed the start of a horrific crime committed by the most despicable group of monsters. And, instead of having the ability to flee the castle and all of its occupants, she now was forced to spend hours waiting several yards away from the massacre with two similar creatures. If we ever made it back to Forks, she should rightfully tell me that she never wanted to see me again. Although it would tear me apart to never touch her again, I would do my best to comply as soon as she made the request. Although I knew that I was not strong enough to ever truly leave her alone again, if she asked, I would force myself to watch over her from afar.

_Edward, stop berating yourself and do something. _"You'd better make her sit before she falls," Alice said. "She's going to pieces."

Bella's arms and legs trembled violently and her chest shook every few seconds as she hiccupped loudly. I wrapped my arms more tightly around her small frame and lifted her over to one of the oversized black leather sofas littering this corner of the reception area. Of course the Volturi would not have uncomfortable furniture in their 'office.' "Shh, Bella, shh," I whispered as my fingers ghosted themselves up and down her arms. Suddenly, her eyes overflowed and tears began streaming down her face as loud sobs shook her entire frame.

"I think she's having hysterics. Maybe you should slap her," Alice suggested.

I glared at her as she shrugged her shoulders. _It always seems to work on television. _I shook my head at her and continued to focus on trying to calm Bella.

"It's all right, you're safe. It's all right, you're safe." I repeated over and over again. I pulled her up onto my lap and tucked the odious cloak around her as a blanket. As disgusting as it was, at least it would keep her warm. Her tears continued to flow down her face and soak through the cloak to my skin. If she was not in such pain, I would have relished the feel of finally having her back in my arms and kissed her senseless. But after seeing such horrors by others of my kind, I was not sure how she would react to having me touch her in anything other than a friendly manner. So, instead of following my heart, I restrained myself to rubbing her back and patting her hair to calm her.

"All those people," Bella finally whispered after what seemed like hours. Her sobs finally had quieted to soft whimpers, but this new mournful sound was almost worse than the sobbing. The pain she felt on behalf of the group of tourists was almost palpable. How could one person be so selfless and good? My monstrous nature stood in sharp contrast. Instead of feeling sorrow for the loss of so many innocent people, I had focused on my rage at the Volturi for exposing my dear girl to such horrors.

"I know," I whispered back. If only I could have run faster, she never would have witnessed the Volturi's macabre civility.

"It's so horrible." She whispered again.

"Yes, it is. I wish you hadn't had to see that." She rested her head against the skin of my chest, burning me with her extraordinary heat. She took several deep breaths and used the edge of the cloak to wipe her eyes. It took so much willpower to still my hands from taking the place of the cloak.

Gianna finally let her curiosity about the loud noises Bella had made overtake her and came over to check on us. "Is there anything I can get you?" She asked as she leaned over my shoulder to look at Bella. _What on earth could have upset the child so much? Surely she knows that vampires need to feed on human blood. Haven't her friends told her anything? Shame on them if they haven't fully informed her about their world. What else could have caused her to react so violently?_

"No," I answered not bothering to look at her. I hoped she could hear my annoyance over her interruption through the tone of my voice. Sensing my lack of patience, Alice made a quick shooing motion with her hands. Through Alice's thoughts, I could see Gianna nod quickly and smile at Bella before she, thankfully, left us alone again.

My attention never left Bella, but Bella's eyes followed Gianna's movements until she disappeared around the corner. "Does she know what's going on here?" Bella whispered to me.

"Yes. She knows everything," I responded. From her thoughts, I could tell that Gianna was far more observant than many of the guard members believed. She was cognizant of the reasons why Heidi brought large "tour groups" to the castle every week or so. Despite the heavy oak doors separating the reception area from the rest of the castle and the generic orchestral music that flooded the room, she also could hear the screams emanating from the throne room. But, curiously, Gianna was not repulsed by the murders.

"Does she know they're going to kill her someday?" Bella asked.

"She knows it's a possibility. She's hoping they'll decide to keep her." I said. In fact, she buttered up Demetri and Felix as often as she could in the hope that one of them would select her as a potential mate.

"She wants to be one of them?" She asked, her face scrunching up in wonder.

I nodded. I desperately wanted to decipher the reasons behind her questions. Is it finally time for Bella to run away from me screaming?

"How can she want that?" Bella whispered. "How can she watch those people file through to that hideous room and want to be a part of _that_?" Her voice wavered as a shiver ran through her body.

I could not keep my emotions from playing across my features. Bella had just confirmed my worst fear – she finally believed that we are monsters. Cue the running and screaming. I understood that there was no way she could still love me after seeing our true nature.

"Oh, Edward," she cried out as the tears overflowed her eyes again.

"What's wrong," I asked. I stroked her hair gently in an effort to calm her down again, not wanting to force my cold touch on her unnecessarily. Of course, I already knew what was wrong. Bella was trying to come up with a way to tell Alice and me that she never wanted to see us again. She finally had reacted naturally to being in the presence of two vampires.

Then, she surprised me again. Instead of shying away from me, she wrapped her arms tightly around my neck and used all of her strength to pull herself as close to me as she could. Her movement shocked me after her despair just seconds earlier. She truly had no sense of self-preservation. "Is it really sick for me to be happy right now?" She asked.

I sighed in disbelief. If my heart still beat, it would have been pounding in my chest. I almost could feel the butterflies floating in my stomach. Almost. Maybe just maybe she could still want me. I knew that although I could have anything in the world, all I would ever want or need was her. I happily returned her embrace and whispered, "I know exactly what you mean."

I paused. Maybe it would be too much if I professed my undying love just yet. Instead, I blurted out, "but we have lots of reasons to be happy. For one, we're alive."

She agreed with me. "Yes, that's a good one."

"And together." I whispered softly, allowing myself the slightest hope that she would agree. She nodded, but did not respond any further.

"And, with any luck we'll still be alive tomorrow." I continued, feeling the need to keep her talking.

"Hopefully." She said with a slight catch in her voice. I bit back a sigh of frustration as I tried to decipher the meaning behind her unease. Did she think I would not get her out of here?

"The outlook is quite good." Alice interjected. "I'll see Jasper in less than twenty-four hours." _And he is not going to let me go for days. Let's just say he has a lot of tension to work off._

Ugh. Even after our harrowing experience, she still felt the need to inundate me with visions of her sex life. "Not helping," I whispered softly to her outside of the range of Bella's hearing.

Bella stared at me. It was almost as if she was trying to memorize my features, like she was seeing me for the last time. I groaned audibly. I still had little skill in deciphering her cryptic mind. Was she trying to come up with a way to let me down easily? I had to think positively. Well, as positively as my personality allowed me to think. At least I could touch her as much as I wanted for the next few hours under the guise of comforting her. My fingers traced her face lightly, lingering on the dark circles underneath her eyes. "You look so tired." I whispered.

"And you look thirsty." She responded, mirroring my movements. Even in the cold waiting room, the lightest touch from her fingers felt like a flame kissing across my skin.

"It's nothing." And it truly was. Even after such a long time away from each other, the scent of her blood had no effect on me. I did not even notice the slight burn in my throat until she said something. Even then, it did not change my assurance. Instead, I just savored her essence – it was the proof that we were still alive.

"Are you sure?" She asked. "I could sit with Alice." As she spoke, she leaned away from me and began sliding her legs down to the floor.

I scooped up her legs and pulled her tightly to my chest again. "Don't be ridiculous." I said. "I've never been in better control of _that_ side of my nature than right now." There was no way I would let her escape my arms.

I could not take my eyes off of Bella's face. Even my perfect memory did not do her justice. Although her eyes reflected the sadness of our circumstances, the deep chocolate color drew me in. Between her eyes and her luscious lips, I could not look away.

_Alright, that's enough lover boy. We need to talk. I'm so happy that you two are finally together again, but we need to figure out how we are going to get out of here and back home as quickly as possible. I'd like to be ready to leave the minute the sun goes down._

"Alright, Alice. Have you seen anything yet? Can you see if we will actually be able to leave Volterra today? I am still skeptical that Caius will just let us walk out of here." I spoke quickly and softly in the hope that Bella would not overhear me. Her eyelids fluttered slightly as she tried to fight her exhaustion. It did not look like she had heard me.

"I can see the three of us walking through the Florence airport. I think that's a good sign that we will be allowed to leave. We just need to pick up our bags and find a car. I don't think we should steal a car within the castle walls, though. I can't see exactly what will happen, but there is a chance we will get caught. I don't see the pretty yellow Porsche anymore, so it looks like I may need to find a different car once we can leave the castle." Alice said.

"You should run ahead and get the bags and a car while I walk Bella out through the main square. Just in case someone changes their mind about letting us go, they would not dare attack us in front of all of the local revelers."

"I agree. By the way, what was all that talk about _singers_?" Alice asked.

"_La tua cantate_?" Bella looked up at me as I said this. Clearly, she was wondering the same thing.

"Yes, that." Alice responded. _I know how it is translated, but why would Aro say that about Bella? I don't think any of us have ever heard her sing. With all her clumsiness, I can't think she would have a great singing voice._

Actually, I think she has the voice of an angel, but I shrugged in response to Alice's question. The phrase really meant nothing. "They have a name for someone who smells the way Bella does to me. They call her my _singer_ – because her blood sings for me." I responded.

Alice laughed loudly. _What a bunch of superstitious ninnies._

Alice continued to run through different possible flight combinations to get us home as quickly as possible. Once we had agreed upon a plan, I focused on placing soft kisses on all of Bella's exposed skin, save her lips. I knew that I could not handle the rejection if she decided not to kiss me back. Her heart pounded each time my lips touched her skin, but she did not react in any other way. What could be running through her head right now? I nearly asked the question, but I was too afraid to hear her response.

"Alice," I whispered, "tell me again about Jacob Black. Did she really have no problem spending time with that mutt? Do you think that anything happened between them?"

_Edward, all I can tell you is what I witnessed. I can't see the werewolves at all. It's like they block my visions completely. Bella did seem very close to him, but . . ._

Our conversation was interrupted as Alec approached the door. _I wonder if they listened to the master and stayed in the lobby. What a shame it would be to have to track them down for failing to follow directions. _He giggled in his head, before opening the door. _Oh hell, I can smell the girl from here. I guess they can go now. _

"You're free to leave now. We ask that you don't linger in the city." Alec said. His eyes glowed like a stoplight, signaling his recent feast.

_As if._ Alice thought, echoing my own thoughts. If he thought we would even consider remaining in the city a second longer than necessary, he was a bigger idiot than I thought he was. "That won't be a problem." I said.

Alec smiled sickeningly at Bella as he turned and glided back through the doors into the ancient castle.

"Follow the right hallway around the corner to the first set of elevators," Gianna said. "The lobby is two floors down and exits to the street. Goodbye now." Her cheerful tone seemed more appropriate for a women's clothing shop or a restaurant instead of the Volturi stronghold.

Alice's thoughts echoed my own and she glared coldly at Gianna as we turned the corner into the hallway. Each step closer to fresh air felt like it lifted some of the weight off of my chest.

I heard the commotion outside even before we exited the castle. When we entered the square, Bella gasped at the spectacle before us.

In contrast, I found the celebration as ridiculous as the ancient traditions followed by the monsters in the castle. Many of the partygoers now sported black satin cloaks and plastic fangs and lunged at each other with their fake teeth reflecting the light. "Ridiculous," I muttered. Luckily, given the revelers' garb, no one gave my unusual outfit a second look. In fact, several people lifted their glasses to toast me as we walked past them.

Alice darted through the shadows to pick up the bags she stashed for she and Bella at the far edge of the square. _Meet you outside the front gates. Keep your fingers crossed that the Porsche is still there._

Bella and I continued walking slowly around the fountain in the center of the square. I kept my arms on her shoulders to guide her away from the marble ledge bordering the large fountain and to dodge the men and women that staggered drunkenly throughout the square.

Bella suddenly looked up and cried out, "Where's Alice?" I could hear the panic behind her words.

I lightly stroked her hair. "She went to retrieve your bags from where she stashed them this morning."

"She's stealing a car too, isn't she?" Bella asked.

"Not till we're outside." I responded grinning at Alice's enthusiasm for crime. She thought nothing about dropping thousands of dollars on clothing whenever she desired, but the thought of paying to rent a car did not even cross her mind tonight. She did not even consider it a possibility.

I wrapped my arms more tightly around Bella's waist as we continued walking. She seemed likely to fall over from exhaustion. Plus, I certainly did not mind keeping her in my arms for a little longer.

When we finally reached the city wall, I saw Alice waiting for us in a nondescript dark sedan. I quickly slid into the backseat, pulling Bella halfway into my lap. Alice took off as I quickly fastened our seat belts.

"I'm sorry, there wasn't much to choose from." Alice said wistfully. _ I really hoped I could find something a little sexier._

"It's fine, Alice. They can't all be 911 Turbos." I joked.

She sighed loudly. "I may have to acquire one of those legally. It was fabulous." _You should have seen how it cornered, Edward. It felt like it was on rails._

I chuckled. "I'll get you one for Christmas." I promised. That was the very least I could do for her after everything she had done for Bella and me. Really, I owed her far more than a car but if that would make her happy I would glad buy her any car she wanted.

"Yellow." Alice insisted. I chuckled quietly and nodded, catching her eye in the rearview mirror.

I continued holding tightly onto Bella even though she did no longer needed me to support her. "You can sleep now, Bella. It's over." I whispered softly.

"I don't want to sleep. I'm not tired." She retorted, even though it was quite clear that she was struggling to remain conscious.

I kissed underneath her ear and whispered again, "Try."

She shook her head, but did not make any other response.

I sighed. "You're still just as stubborn."

She remained true to her word and kept her eyes open for the entire ride to Florence, even though I caught her head falling backwards and her eyes shutting every few minutes.

After dropping Bella, me and the bags at the entrance to the airport, Alice drove the dark sedan to the farthest end of the airport to avoid any interest by the police and met us at the ticket counter only moments later. The bright lights of the airport seemed to wake Bella up. It probably did not hurt that she also had the opportunity to change her clothes and freshen up. The cloak caused people to stare, so Alice took advantage of the mall located in the public area of the airport and purchased a new shirt, sweater and slacks for me to wear on the long flight home. As I quickly changed into my new clothing in the men's restroom, Alice kept her hand at the door for me to hand her the odious cloak. As soon as I removed it, she grabbed it and raced out the door to the alleyway adjacent to the airport to throw it on a pile of trash. _That's just where it belongs. How could those creeps think I would ever even consider wearing something like this?_

Our quick flight to Rome passed uneventfully. Due to Alice's quick thinking and her gift, we only had a 20-minute layover before boarding our flight to Atlanta. Prior to takeoff, Bella requested a Coke from the flight attendant. Her innocent smile did not fool me. I knew what she was doing – she had never tolerated caffeine very well. The only reason she ever drank it was to force herself to stay awake when she was tired. "Bella," I warned.

"I don't want to sleep," she said, frowning slightly. "If I close my eyes now, I'll see things I don't want to see. I'll have nightmares."

I could not fault her reasoning. Still, in her current state of exhaustion, the Coke could cause her heart to race at a dangerous rate. As I opened my mouth to say something further, Alice stopped me. In between whispering to Jasper on her cell phone, Alice took the time to admonish me with her thoughts. _Edward, just leave her alone. She has been through so much. If she wants to stay awake, let her. You lost your right to control her actions when you left._

I sighed softly in response and turned my attention back to Bella. She kept glancing at my face and opening her mouth as if she had something to say, but never said a word. For my part, I just kept my arms wrapped around her and softly stroked her face. Every now and then, I kissed her when I thought she was drifting off. I did not want her to think I was forcing myself on her by kissing her lips. I needed to wait until we could discuss where we stood and if she could ever forgive me. So instead, I kissed everywhere else I could reach – her hair, her forehead, her eyelids, her wrists and the palms of her hands.

True to her word, Bella did not sleep at all on the flight to Atlanta or the flight to Seattle. Each time her eyelids began drooping, she requested another soda. By the time we started our descent into Seattle, she was trembling from the combination of caffeine and exhaustion flowing through her body. I waited patiently for her to say whatever was on her mind, but instead she remained quiet.

As we taxied toward the gate, Alice tried to get my attention. _Edward, they are all here waiting for us. All of them. So, please behave yourself. While she is not my favorite person right now either, Rose didn't mean for all of this to happen. _

I growled quietly in response, grabbed Bella's bag and began heading for the jet way. "Here we go," I whispered to no one in particular.


End file.
